How could I possible explain these urges inside me? I seek redemption, I long for peace but I still gain pleasure from delivering blows with the tip of my blade- my beautiful, sharp Kukri swords that could cut through flesh like a warm knife cutting through butter. But I digress. In seeking redemption it’s easy to fall off the wagon.
With my new and improved look on life I decided to retrieve the compass Samuel desperately wanted. Well, I didn’t actually have a choice since Samuel started choking me with his weird ink and he did it in front of a very semi-naked Lydia.
I knew he was trying to sabotage our forbidden love since he’s just jealous because she finds me attractive and he just looks like he needs to wipe the eyeliner off his crusty old face and get rid of that chipped black nail polish.
And who wouldn’t? Look at me?
You would think that it wouldn’t be so hard to run in, (since I am a speedster) gut Emile Danko (and why in the hell would he keep a key in his stomach) and run out. Except this blonde woman, found me. In fact this blonde woman might be the world’s most perfect woman.
I was able to cut her with my blades and she just simply splashed into water. I had to find this woman, after all think of all the kinky-pretendy-fun-time games we could play and she wouldn’t even get hurt.
First I decided to see if she hung around at any comic-con conventions. But I had to go in a disguise so she wouldn’t recognize me. I couldn’t find her but I was suddenly attacked by Starwars Fan boys who insisted I show them my smooth Jedi Moves. Who did they think I was? Some Starwars Geek? Needless to say she wasn’t at the comic con convention.
I spent the rest of the day stalking this woman just so I could find her. And then it hit me. Why am I wasting my time trying to find this woman when I can just Google? Needless to say I wasn’t disappointed in what I found.