The eclipse! It’s taken my powers from me. But that’s not all…it’s taken away the hunger. That’s right, I no longer hunger for sexy man meat, and because of that, I no longer act like a ditsy teenage girl. No longer shall I shall I hit on cute boys, no longer shall I murder those who reject me. I…am a mature adult.
Boring, isn’t it? I’ll say. But there’s one good thing that can come of it…it will give me a chance to run all the errands I’ve recklessly avoided due to my teenage sense of invincibility!
My first stop: the DMV. How I hated it here, but it was something every respected adult must do. Sylar with “the hunger” would have just cut everyone in line ahead of him, murdering anyone who complained about it. But Gabriel Gray stands in line, waiting, sighing heavily every 30 seconds. But eventually, he gets to the front of the line, where he successfully renews his driver’s license.
Next stop: the bank. It’s been a while since I’ve been here! I needed to check my balance. After all, adults all work hard for their money so they could pay for food and shelter. When I got to the teller, and saw that my balance was $0, I realized, oh yeah, I ate brains for my food, and my shelter was generally the homes of people who had been living until they met me. Oops. How was I going to get food and shelter now?
Third stop: panhandling. But maturely, of course. A please and thank you for every coin. After I raked in a small fortune, I headed to my final stop:
The grocery store. I filled my cart with all the essentials: soy milk, tofu, turkey burgers, all the tastiest stuff. Before I checked out, I headed to the exotic foods section. I looked through the wares, which included octopus, swordfish, buffalo meat. And then I stopped short. I saw one of the most vile, disgusting foods I’d ever seen: monkey brains. I threw up a little in my mouth. My, how I’d matured.