I’ve got to get a band together? But I can’t sing or play an instrument. I don’t even like music. Well except for the Winter Album by ‘NSYNC. I could listen to that all day. That Justin Timberlake is hot. Er, I mean he can sing really well.
I can’t let the anxiety get to me. Let’s see . . singers . . singers oh right! I remember Professor X had this totally amazing guy perform at an X-Men party last year. Let’s see . . what was that guy’s name? Oh right, Sanjaya. I think I still have his agent’s number in my wallet. Hopefully he’s available on such short notice.
“Uh, hello? Is this Mort Gushheimer? My name is Cyclops and I was wondering if Sanjaya might be available for a, uh, performance tonight? He is? Really? Well that’s great! I was afraid he’d be off on a concert tour of Europe or something. Oh? He hasn’t performed since the X-Men party last year? Well . . as long as he’s available tonight, that’s great. What’s that? How much does this gig pay? Uh, I don’t really have any money. I think I saw some McDonald’s coupons in the circular he could have. That’s good enough? Great. I’ll see him soon.”
Well now that’s taken care of, I have to pick out my outfit. Forunately I brought some civilian clothes. Let’s see . . yeah . . this should work.
* three hours later *
“Hi Sanjaya! I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for hiring me! Do you have the coupons?”
“Uh, sure. Here you go. Now listen, we have to do a song tonight. Do you know any good ones?”
“What type of song do you want? What’s the occasion?”
“I’m trying to impress this really hot girl.”
“Is she tall and beautiful?”
“Oh yeah. She is totally hot. Pretty face, great hair . . killer body. And she’s got this really sexy
bump in her neck. I just love it when girls have that.”
“Er, okay Cyclops. I think I have just the song.”
“Then let’s get on stage and do it!”
Girl when I look at you,
the blood flows from my brain.
The titillation that I feel,
drives me almost insane.
Girl . . you make it hard . .
to forget how much I want you
Girl I want to pump you
up with all my love.
Spoon feed you my gooey sweetness,
just like a vanilla turtledove.
Girl . . you make it hard . .
to forget how much I want you
Girl I want to squeeze your
round juicy fruits
Put my rock solid love
deep inside your heart
Fill you with my love
until you burst!
Girl . .you make it hard . .
to forget how much I want you
Girl . . you make it hard . .
I can see a tear running down Sylar’s cheek. Sweet! I’ve got this one in the bag.