OMG, hey guys, it’s me, Sylar! I, like, have a couple of totally
awesome poems by a couple of hot men to share with you ‘n junk! To
start off with, we have one by Peter! If we combined his femininity
with my sexiness, the world would have, like, the hottest boy band
member ever! If only we could get rid of his icky sadness! Sadness
is like, totally uncool!
Emo Angst
by Peter
My heart is as dark
As the deepest depths of a baboon’s anus
I see death all around me
Mostly caused by Sylar’s gaynessSaving the world, I’ve done it twice
I am FDR without the wheelchair
The impending doom was just plain nice
In comparison to losing my hair
The cut, the tragedy, caused such pain
Like a constipated loon, failing to poo in the rain
The tears flow, but for now, no more crying
Now to save my girlfriend, but is it just futile?
They all end up dying
Like a hooker in a hotelTo top it all off, my brother is dead
Denial, like with someone who gets hemmroids
I want to hug him once more, I want to snuggle in bed
Petrelli man-love is the only way to fill my void
The pain, the loss, my sanity will teeter
Death. Destruction. Dysphagia. Such is Peter
Next, we have a poem from my best good friend, Mr. Glasses. Once I
had a totally crush on him, but I’ve moved on and now we’re the
bestest of pals! And it seems he’s totally workin’ for his sexy
company again, the reason we met in the first place! That, ‘n my
love of his daughter’s brains! How, like, totally sentimental!
Well, let’s see what sexiness he has in store for us!
Prophecy
By Mr. Glasses
The painting was vile
It was wretched, indeed!
I spent a long while
Fighting prophecyI stopped Claire dating
I even killed Russians
But all of my fighting
Brought repercussionsMohinder shot me
In slo-mo, I died.
It made Bob happy,
But my Claire Bear cried.I once was blind
But now I see
Once was dead
But now I live
To Primatech Paper Company
My thanks I give