I never would have believed it, but here I am celebrating the holidays with my arch nemeses, my ex-girlfriend, and my current girlfriend at the company Christmas party here at the Burnt Toast Diner in Midland, Texas. It was kinda last-notice too, considering my inability to keep track of time, but hey, aliens don’t need to pay attention to such trifling details like Earth time measurements.
I needed to get a Christmas present for Elle, so I flew on down to the Buy More in the outlet mall. My girl Elle is a classy gal who just wants to make her daddy proud, so I bought her this hi-tech surveillance system so she can spy on her dad 24/7. It’s a much better system than the surveillance I had running on Claire’s house, which consisted mostly of webcams hidden in trees. I also bought Elle this tight little t-shirt with the Slusho logo on it. Mmm, mmm, Slusho…
When I was at the Buy More, I ran into Claire’s little brother Sylvester (?) in the computer aisle blogging on Adam’s site. I would have offered Sly a lift to the party, but I figured that it’d be hard enough flying there while carrying all of Elle’s presents. Not to mention the fact that I want to interact with Claire as little as possible. But I see he got here all right anyway.
Yeah, I think this is the best Christmas party ever: My parents aren’t around, I’ve got an awesome girlfriend I can sneak under the mistletoe, and maybe I can take that mistletoe and use it to poison the eggnog and get rid of the company once and for all!
But I’ve got this really weird feeling that I know the guy serving muffins from somewhere, and I don’t know why. He just seems so familiar…Wait! I know where I’ve seen him before!
Can you believe that Mos Def was invited to this party? The day just keeps getting better and better!