The other day I was driving! I can’t say where, they may be reading this.
And I saw this man with his sign! And at that moment I realized the truth, the coffee truth!
Coffee contains an addictive drug known as caffeine. It is a concoction of manipulative bean-soaked water. They are using it to control you and take your money!!
Luckily, there are still small establishments like the Burnt Toast Diner that don’t charge $6.99 for a cup of coffee. Here it’s only 80¢!
But the evil coffee corporations are using the addictive beverage enjoyed by over 6 billion Americans, turning java into the very bars that keep you locked in their prison of lies!
Do not fall for their scam! Stay alert! Trust no one! Throw hot, scolding coffee in the faces of your oppressors!
You still don’t believe the truth?? Dr. Evil himself drinks Starbucks coffee!!
We must unite! Together, and only together, we can stop this evil! If we remain divided, cappuccino-drinkers against coffee-drinkers, latte-drinkers against cappuccino-drinkers, then they have won! Only together can we bring down this great evil!
So go home and prepare! We will move soon and they will not know what hit them.
Visit my MySpace profile for more truth! Join the resistance!!