You wouldn’t believe all the trouble at work today. Let me give you some of the backstory…
There’s this brain-eater on the loose. I’ve been tracking him for a long time now. It’s been tough to catch him because he’s always wearing some elaborate costume. I suppose he likes the anonymity they provide.
But this particular lunatic has been after my daughter. Luckily, he got her mistaken with a different cheerleader (I do that all the time!) and so Jackie was killed, and not my little Claire Bear.
I hate to say this, but it’s the truth. It was Jackie’s own fault. She had MySpace, and apparently this Sylar guy kept sending her messages. I managed to find these in the police file:
“hey, you look kinda familiar. do i know u? i swear, its like i know u from somewhere! anywayz, hit me back.”
“i noticed u read my last message, but u never replies. i guess u were busy and then prolly just forgot. well, i thought ur page looked real cool, so like i just want to get to know u better. talk to u later!”
“dude, u keep ignoring me. y dont u reply to me? its not like im some strange psychopath or something. u can learn all about me on my profile. i know it says im 27, but im really just like 19. we should totally hang out. i know some good places to eat. anyway, i promise i wont kill u or anything, just pleeeease reply, k? later!”
There was a total of 23 messages.
So, this Sylar guy shows up, this time he dresses up as your typical, trench coat pedophile. He’s in brain-eating mode.
It turned out Jackie’s brain was sub-optimal, but she still croaked. Afterwards, my team managed to capture him. So we’ve got him locked up inside HQ. We put him in our Anti-Power Cell (beta).
That man is a few bytes short of a gig. We gave him a laptop with wireless internet so he could pass the time (it’s also a way for us to study his behavior by tracking what he does on it). You know what the first thing he does is? Buys a dress off of eBay!
Rufus signed for the package and tried it on himself. Needless to say, it’s practically ruined. But Sylar said he could sew it back together.
I’ve been zoned out over all this Sylar biz. And my Claire Bear is flippin’ out. Between Rufus splitting Sylar’s dress and a panicked, screaming cheerleader, there’s just no bandwidth left to cop some Z’s. I decided to leave Eden in charge and get myself a cup o’ joe.