Stepford, Virginia

Sorority girls are evil.

I know what you're thinking, really. I don't trust popular girls because they're bitches. But, I'm telling you, they're evil. This chick, Becky Taylor? I think she's the ringleader. Just look at her. I'm serious.

Exhibit A: She's got horns like the devil!

She's just too nice. And the way she separated Claire and I? She's up to something. I just know it. It kind of reminds me of an episode of this show I used to watch when I was a kid. Oh, what was it called?

Just can't think of what it would have been...

Anyway, if I had been trying to actually kill somebody, my aim would have been way better. This timing is horrible, though. Claire's so paranoid, I had to tell her about... Well... It's not such a big deal, right? College is all about this sort of stuff. But that's why I'm so worried about this sorority stuff! Those girls are going to brainwash Claire. But apparently my speed dating audition impressed someone - maybe that Allison girl - so I get to pledge, too.

Psi Alpha Chi, you're going to have to get through me if you want Claire.