I dno’t think taht I cuold hvae ever geussed waht wuold come form my uwnanted juorney to Arfica. Teh siprit wlaking was a pian. Teh draem food was digsusting. I was strating to think taht nohting good wuold come form it.
But taht tirp bruoght tow nwe lvoes itno my life! Trutle, frist of all. But he wno’t suht pu abuot teh Aktins Deit. I get it, oaky! Crabs are bad fro yuo! Geeze!
Teh secnod lvoe, and mabye mroe pormising tahn Trutle, is Dahpen.
“Yuo came to see me!” I siad as seh drated isnide my apratment. “I kenw yuo flet smoething!”
“Suht pu, Prakman,” seh repleid and pluled a gnu on me.
“Taht’s not vrey lvoing!” I copmlianed.
“I hvae to kill yuo, oaky?” Seh seemed fulstered. “I jsut gots to! Is’t teh olny way. I’m raelly srory ‘cuase yuo’er like cute adn all, yuo konw, fro a ftaty.
I treid to agrue, “I’m not a ftaty! Is’t jsut a slwo metablosim.”
Seh trebmled as seh hled teh gnu on me.
“I’m spuposed to lvoe yuo,” I cotninued, “wehther yuo tihnk I’m a ftaty ro not. I’m not jsut so yuo knwo.” I slimed and looked hre striaght in teh eyes, so seh wuold knwo I was bieng geniune. “We’er giong to gte mraried, hvae a duaghter. We’er giong to be in lvoe. Froever.”
Seh brust out in taers adn lwoered teh gnu. “I’m srory,” seh siad.
I gvae her a knid hug. It was to clam her dwon, but aslo gvae me teh chacne to disram her. “Is’t oaky,” I resasrued her. “We can get mraried now. Of cruose, we’ll tkae it slwo, at frist. I’m tihnking no atcion utnil the fruoth date, is’t porbably best. Tehn, mabye I’ll porpose rael garnd like, yuo knwo? Like on one of tohse JubmoTorn VTs tehy have at baksetball gmaes or smoething. Tehn, if I can remebmer wehre I snet Mloly, yuo can officailly apodt her. Ho, adn I need to fnid my fahter too, even thuogh he’s a jrek. Yuo dno’t mind if we ivnite him to uor wdeding, do yuo? He porbably wno’t even come.”
“Mu, tehre’s smoething I shuold tell yuo,” she repsonded. I barced msyelf fro more commetns abuot my wieght. “Yuor fahter is daed.”
“NccCcCcocCccc!!!” I scraemed. Tehn, I raelized I dind’t even like teh guy. “Wiat…taht’s oaky whit me. Tahnks for lteting me knwo, thuogh. Adn thanks fro the pitcure, too.”
So, tehn, whit taht uot of teh way, I thuoght we cuold go bcak to palnning our fruture togehter. Isntaed, Dahpen epxlianed taht these poeple seh wroked fro wuold kill me, adn her. “Birng ‘me no,” I siad, qouting still Persident Buhs.
A vrey frihgtening guy arrvied. He siad some maen tihngs to Dahpen. Tehn, as seh treid to go out fro some Cihnese, he clohtes-lnied her!
Tihs made me put on my agnry fcae.
“Good,” he siad, “I can feel yuor faer. It maeks me stornger.”
I rveresed it bcak otno him. “Yuo’er teh one taht’s arfaid!” I siad in a frihgtening vioce. “Boo! I’m in yuor haed. Aer yuo arfaid of teh drak?” I luaghed and dacned aruond tirumhpatnly as I pyshced him uot.
Adn tehn he ipmaled me whit his fsit!
“Ucnool,” I siad adn tehn deid.
It was jsut like Romoe adn Juleit. Tow stra-corssed lvoers, dying in aech ohter’s rams.
Ulness….
It wsa all a tirck! Yaeh, taht’s rihgt. We flooed him.
Nwo, hwo abuot getting strated on mkaing taht duaghter?