Fnu wiht teh Ladeis

Bieng snigle now has been graet. Btu I hvaen’t had a cahnce to raelly ejnoy it, waht wiht all teh wolrd-svaing I do.

Mhoinder wsa agianst me dtaing. He siad I shuold hlod uot for Jnaice. Btu I tihnk he raelly jsut wnats me fro himslef. He’s a jaeluos parnet.

Smoe of yuo may hvae ntoiced taht I hvae dylesxai. I’m aslo a bit on teh haevy side. Tihs has awlays mdae it hrad fro me to meet grils. Tehy dno’t wnat a huksy retrad. Ecxept fro Jnaice. Seh loved me fro woh I am.

Btu seh’s gnoe now. I hda to mvoe on. So, I called Jnaice to get dtaing avdice.

“Why wuold I hlep yuo pikc up women?” she aksed.

“I’m lonley, ho so lonley,” I repleid, plyaing no her haert stirngs.

Fnially seh caved. She sgugetsed taht I tyr using Mloly to meet grils. “Tehy lvoe a flamiy man,” she siad.

So, I derssed up nicley and haeded out on teh twon whit my apodted duahgter.

“Slime at teh pretty ladeis, Mloly” I tlod her.

“Gha! I’m nto Mloly. Spot tuoching me. I wnat to go hmoe.”

Tehn, I ntoiced an atraratcive flemae looking my way. I aslo ntoiced taht tihs little gril I bourght whit me wsan’t Mloly. “Waht’s yuor name?” I aksed.

“Sammi! Lte me go!”

Teh atraratcive flemae was aporapching. I hdan’t time to fnid Mloly. Sammi wuold hvae to do. “Slime adn be ncie adn I’ll buy yuo ice craem.”

“KO!”

As teh lady wakled up to me, I piotned at Sammi and siad, “Hye, look. Tihs is my kid. Yep, I’m a flamiy man, a flamiy man all teh way. Lvoe me teh kids, yep. So much fnu, chlidern. I’m snigle too, by teh way. Wnat to dtae me? Plaese, dtae me! Plaese!”

Teh lady garbbed Sammi by teh hnad. “Cmoe no, sweety. Lte’s get away form teh creepy man.”

“Btu Mom!” seh wihned, “he pormised me ice craem.”

She tehn hit me whit her pruse. “Ncie one, sikco! Rael ogirnal. Saty away form my duahgter!”