I love the holidays because there’s always countless gifts waiting under the tree for me. A tree for every ounce of guilty Daddy feels deep inside for the tortures of my childhood. Maybe this year I’ll get a BMW!
Thought looking under the tree, I didn’t see…welll, anything! Am I being punished for having a boyfriend? Crap. I think Daddy is officially on to me. It’s alright though, West gave me plenty of things to tide me over…physically and materialistically. Is that even a word? Wow, that was a tough one.
See, West and I had to show at Daddy’s stupid Christmas party and act like we weren’t together because a) the cheerleader happened to be there and b) Daddy would have taken away my internet privledges if he knew I was seeing West.
A string of lights went out and Daddy pulled me aside and had me stand there keeping them going. I was *this* close to passing out when he finallly showed with a new string of them, told me I’d been a good girl and sent the Haitian in my direction. I made a B line for the punch bowl and shoved the stupid cheerleader in his direction. WTF does she need to remember? I’d be happy if she just forgot about my boyfriend! Actually…I would like to forget Peter Petrelli. He kept making eyes at me and I just wanted to zap him. Break my heart and then show up at the holiday party, why don’t you?
Oh! The boyfriend, I happened to snag Daddy’s gold card (lol, get it? gold card…and it literally is gold so it gets annoying when he needs it swiped through the machine at Nordie’s…ugh.) and ordered him some stuff with robots on it from Hot Topic because his emo hair makes me think he’d love anything from there. So I got him an Optimus Prime hoodie and Optimus Prime undies for myself to wear for him. He really likes playing autobots and decepticons…the dirty version 😉
Well, I have to go model my new cheerleader costume for West before Daddy comes in to read me a story. Did I mention how fantastic flying boyfriends are? Screw you Santa Claus…my flying man looks much better coming down the chimney than you!