My spidey senses alerted me to a new threat, a danger comparable to Hillary Clinton!!!! I was scanning over the Internets in search of the TRUTH!!! It was then I came across a frightening BLOG ENTRY on THIS VERY WEBSITE!!!!!
Some crazy guy named Adam and Peter Petrelli are working together to kill clowns and run amuck! They must be stopped!!!!
I accessed Peter Petrelli’s private LiveJournal and it seems the two fiends are on their way to Odessa!!! They could already be there!!!!!!!!!! Aside from his dark and disturbing views on humanity’s futile pursuit of power and wealth, he seems concerned with destroying viles of stuff!!!!
Stuff!!!!!
In viles!!!
That can only mean one thing….MEDICINE! Peter and Adam are on their way to destroy the only cure available for a secret virus grown by the company (They’re the bad guys!)!!!
I’ve found a ton of information about this virus that may be released soon!!!! People will die!!! Grandmothers will perish!!! Animals will run wild and Will Smith will be the last man alive!!!!!! Despite the sexiness of that prospect, it’s pure evil!!!!!
It may be too late!!! I’ve seen mutants out there already!!! EVIL MUTANTS THAT WISH TO EAT MY NON-EXISTENT BRAIN! The virus apparently caused these people’s DNA to mix with that of French Fries. I knew the French were out to kill us!!!! We must boycott berets and drown these evil-doers in ketchup!!!
Peter and Adam must be stopped!!!! Adam has been alive for 400 years!!! That has to be bad for mankind!!!! Anyone that old is out to destroy civilization, just look at Larry King. Every weeknight he dumbs us down, preparing to go in with his suspenders and hang us all high!!! Adam has a slightly more sinister plan!! And Peter is his evil little lap dog.
We have to stop them!!! We cannot afford to allow them to destroy the cure!!! Gather up your friends and head down there to the Odessa paper factory. Find the vile!!! And release the cure to the world before it is too late!!!!!