Every since I can remember, I’ve loved boys. Their rippling muscles, their chiseled jaws, their rough facial hai. There’s just something that’s so sexy about a strong man!
But now I run into these two! I thought I loved Alejandro, but he totally turned out to be a whiney wimp! But Maya! She’s a sexy vixen, special, AND a killer! Everything that I’ve ever wanted to be! I thought I wanted that in me, but maybe I wanted it in…a woman?
Oh my God, what am I saying?! They say every girly-man has these thoughts some time in his like, life. Where he totally doubts his femininity. But I never thought it would happen to me! Am I destined to be the most flamboyant straight man ever? Like, no, look at that last sentence, I even totally talked like a half-smart man there for a sec! What’s happening to me?!
I like, totally am prolly gonna settle down with a wife (ewwww), have kids (double EWWWWWW), and get a job in construction (ICKY EWWWWWW!!!!!!) I totally need to get my power back and kill Maya before it’s too late and this happens to me!