October 8, 2007

Crazy Old Lady? Me? Never!

Ah, yes, well, I assure you that I am not crazy. What happened in the police station was just post-traumatic stress syndrome. Having a husband and a son commit suicide can do that to a woman, no matter how refined she may be.

Of course, the aristocrats of New York City are already glamouring over the little tidbit of gossip to hit the tabloids. Such headlines as "Petrelli Hag Freaks at PD" and "Old, White, Rich, & Crazy" have sprouted all over. However, my favorite story was the one asking "What kind of a person would steal socks?" and then goes on to answer it with "The fabulously rich, and ridiculously crazy, Angela Petrelli."

This is all nonsense. Nonsense, I say! My lawyers have already begun filing suits against these so-called news organizations. I don't need the money. I'm doing this over the principle of the thing. One should not have to endure such a rough treatment from the press, unless of course one is a former pop star turned fat hick. But I am wealthy and I am classy. I am beyond this. And so, I ask you not to read these stories painting me to be an unstable witch. I am the glue that holds my family together! Well...what's left of it at least.

In other news, I'm wondering if anyone has seen a Haitian running around? I've seemed to have misplaced him. I certainly hope he isn't back to fraternizing with that no good paper salesman. He's the reason my poor Peter is dead, after all. And so yes, you should blame him. Stop attacking this defenseless woman. Sure, I am a symbol of feminine strength and one of , if not, the most sophisticated of New York's citizens, but it is still impolite to make such absurd accusations about me. There are more deserving fish to fry, like that OJ guy. He's some kind of...ball player if I'm not mistaken. If the country must have a scape goat on which to take its frustration, let it be that man instead. Surely we now live in a world where Black men have just as much chance to be labeled a public nuisance as an upperclass White woman. Affirmative action should have made that possible. And if we still live in a world where the tabloids would rather trash a White socialite than a Black man, then the terrorists have won. Yes, they have won alright. And had my Nathan been President, he would have taken care of that problem too!

3 patrons:

Veronica said...

Angela, I don't know anyone that would dare to mess up with you (Well, that misterious character that tried to kill you may be an exception). However! You're my hero, and when I have my own hot sons, I want to be like you :).

Angela Dominique Ames Petrelli said...

This comment is a total fabrication.
I'd just like to establish that I am still alive in gorgeous Prada. Listen not to this cyber stalker. Hold fast for my blog entries. My real blog entries will soon be with you. This miscreant knows not the power of my dark army, ahem, security company Hold fast. I shall be with you again!

Heidi Petrelli said...

Mama Petrelli,
Take your medication!

 
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