sylars homecoming!

omg ull never guess where im posting from!!! no its not mr glasses‘ses laptop 4 once. im back at burnt toast! thats right. i had to get away from mohindy. he is so clingy! so i used my super speed to leave him at the motel n come visit texas. yes its confirmed i have super speed. u have this reputable source and my blog to prove it! newayz i guess the fact that i have super speed makes my silly cross-country adventure useless. but thats ok i had time (and people) 2 kill!

so ive been sitting here sipping my coffee and eating sum waffles (finally! i didnt get them the 1st time i wuz 2 busy eating brains). newayz ive grown 2 respect this place 2 much so i dont wanna cause a scene. so im eating these waffles instead of brainz. luckily i always bring my own jar of brainz for situations such as this! so i sneakily took sum out and sprinkled them on my waffles. mmmmm good!

wen dun with my meal i walked into the back. thats write, where i killed that silly waitress! oh the memories! but while i wuz back there remembering good times a waitress came into the room. she looked at me n remembered me. she new i wuz in the diner that day that charlie died n thought i did it! i had 2 think fast. good thing i have such an arsenal of pwrs at my disposal!!!

so i used my power of super hearing to better hear her accusory accusations of accusing! that didnt rly accomplish nething lol.

so i breathed underwater @ her! that didnt do nething. in fact i cudnt breath! i wuz like an ariel (the lil mermaid) out of water xcept i didnt haf a prince 2 luv! newayz i decided 2 stop using that power wut good is being an ariel out of wtr w/o a prince??

luckily i had 1 more trick up my sleeve. i drank a normally fatal amt of alcohol‘ed her! hmm that didnt seem 2 werk! and now their were empty wine coolers evrywhere! wut a mess!

she wuz about 2 scream so i touched my finger 2 her lips! they totally liquified and melded 2gether. lol. omg that wud keep her quiet! hmmm but i cudnt reverse this pwr. whooops! the peeps here wud realize wut wuz wrong soon wen they saw a waitress w/ no lips! well i figured i might as well just kill her! i mean its just ONE brain itd be almost a crime not 2! so i did. n it wuz great. there were so many happy memories flowing thru my mind as i tore open her skull and feasted on her awsum brain! it wuz good. after that i went back 2 finish my meal n hear i am!

whoops! sum1s screaming! i guess they found her. ill be ending my post the same way i ended my first 1! running out of this place with brains all ovr my face! time 2 get myself back 2 mohindy! good thing i haf super speed i kin elude these peeps like wen i eluded mr glasses roadrunner style! toodles!

  • Well, you just missed me. I did a reading right before I left and I know where Claude’s pigeons are so I’m gonna make sure they’re cared for. Glad to see you like to eat waffles and not just brains. ; )

  • Use your breathing underwater power to rescue me from the Three Stooges! I’m being held captive. Stupid Claire has no offensive powers, so she wasn’t any help. If things start to get messy, I’m going to have to slap them with Sandra.

  • wait u want MY help? ur askin lil ol me the guy who u try so hard 2 kill all the time 2 help u? mayb if u didnt try 2 kill me all the time i wud come 2 ur rescue! i like had a perfect opportunity 2 kill u and i didnt!

  • It’s in your best interest to help. Primatech Paper wants to experiment on you. Maybe I could put in a good word for you. I could be the difference between total dissection and a light anal probing.

  • Were you the one who was chewing on my head backstage at the Oscars?

    I couldn’t tell since I was kinda drunk at the time. BTW, brains are high in fat. Especially mine. Eat mor chikken!

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