tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50530638747405971.post-6255818005056955012008-01-30T12:32:00.000-06:002008-01-30T12:55:55.818-06:002008-01-30T12:55:55.818-06:00It's true! I predicted it too!!!!<br /><br />Some of you may remember my investigative report on <a href="http://www.burnttoastdiner.com/2007/12/your-xbox-wants-to-kill-you.html">Xploding Xboxes</a>. We all know that an Xbox is less of a gaming console and more a computer designed to network the entire world's secrets together in one mainframe to give <a href="http://www.microsoft.com">The Company</a> total control over your lives!!!<br /><br />And it just so happened I was in that mainframe. What was I doing there?!?!?!? Fighting the bad guys! Spitting in the metaphorical face of product integration!!! Flirting with a hot cyber-dude named Richard Drucker!! Flirting for freedom!!<br /><br />Then, for some crazy reason the mainframe identified me as a virus!! Me! A virus?!?!?! How insane!!!! I am no virus, I am the cure!<br /><br />Here's a virus:<br /><br /><a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_0dyr8VLbG4w/R6DFkfJ1nnI/AAAAAAAAAEs/bImXnCWaawk/s1600-h/virus.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_0dyr8VLbG4w/R6DFkfJ1nnI/AAAAAAAAAEs/bImXnCWaawk/s400/virus.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161342403595312754" /></a><br /><br />And here's me!:<br /><br /><a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_0dyr8VLbG4w/R6DFq_J1noI/AAAAAAAAAE0/y4fRLecKt-8/s1600-h/hanavirus.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_0dyr8VLbG4w/R6DFq_J1noI/AAAAAAAAAE0/y4fRLecKt-8/s400/hanavirus.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161342515264462466" /></a><br /><br />Sure! There are similarities....we're both nice and fit, and okay, maybe I have a big head....but look how different we are!! I have no tail fibers!!! <br /><br />There was no time to complain!! Chuck had already began downloading the Intersect into his head!!! And that meant that an explosion would soon follow!!!<br /><br />"Let's get out of here!!!" I screamed at Drucker as he was about to propose to me.<br /><br />We took off running, but ran into a firewall.<br /><br />"Oh, no! A dead end," Drucker announced. As we turned around, I could see a large paper clip with eyes.<br /><br /><a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_0dyr8VLbG4w/R6DGvfJ1npI/AAAAAAAAAE8/q-ocxA1Lejk/s1600-h/clippy.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp0.blogger.com/_0dyr8VLbG4w/R6DGvfJ1npI/AAAAAAAAAE8/q-ocxA1Lejk/s400/clippy.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5161343692085501586" /></a>"Stand aside, Clippy!" I commanded.<br /><br />"I can help. What are you trying to do?" it replied.<br /><br />At first, I fell for its deception. "We need to get out of here," I answered.<br /><br />"I can't let you do that, Dave," it replied and began triggering a defrag on us. Drucker and I managed to dodge the moving file clusters.<br /><br />"Over here!" Drucker yelled. We jumped into a hidden folder. <br /><br />"Where are we?" I said, looking around at all the naked women.<br /><br />"It must be Bob's personal files..."<br /><br />We quickly escaped onto the Desktop where a delightful game of Solitaire was happening. Drucker wanted to stay and watch, but I said, "We have to get out of here! It's going to blow!"<br /><br />I grabbed his non-physical hand and jumped onto the floppy disk drive just as the mainframe exploded. It was a long shot, taking a chance on such outdated technology. I was never happier to see a three-inch floppy in my life.Spoon Fedhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03848687042525862733noreply@blogger.com