Picking pubs and pockets

Right so, as you've likely guessed from Tarot's post (prior to mine) I had her dress up in her Nurse's Uniform plus makeup and some fish net stockings. Couldn't talk her into going out in heels though. And seein' as how she couldn't even walk in them, I decided not to push the point. Mind you findin' shoes in Tarot's size is not easy, especially when you're nicking them. Good thing I can turn them invisible along with myself.

Anyroad, the first pub we hit, some bloke walked right up to Tarot askin' her "How Much?"
I was just about to warn Tarot that he was an undercover copper (I nicked his badge along with his wallet) when she replied "I'm not selling anything so I'm not sure what you're asking."

He counters with "Oh, so you're American?"

"Yes, what of it?"

"Did you just come from a fancy dress ball or sommat?"

"No. I'm actually a Nurse. I just figured this was a good way to get out and meet new people. I'm not looking for work as I'm on holiday, just new friends."

"Can I get you a drink then?"

"No thanks. Can't drink, I'm on meds. I'll be ill."

"Something else?" At this point the copper reaches into his pocket and finds that his wallet is gone as is his badge. He immediately assumes it's the bloke just behind him, who's just pulled out a big wad of cash. I was gonna grab that too, but the copper was in the way arresting him. In all the confusion I did manage to grab a good haul, including some nice expensive liquor, reserve stuff even. I whispered to Tarot that we ought to leave.
So we left and hit another pub. This time no coppers, just some bloke who kept trying to chat up Tarot and who kept buying her drinks. I nicked the first two then saw the wanker try to put something in the third. He got up like he was gonna use the loo and I tripped him. Again I told Tarot (discretely) that we'd better leave. I do 'ave to say for all her flakiness and naivete, Tarot's not a bad partner. At least I know she won't shoot me or leave me for dead, that's for certain. Silly bird is infatuated with me. A blind man could see it! After I forgot to secure her, when we finally got back, from a very profitable night, and she was still 'ere, when I woke up, I decided I didn't need to bother securing her anymore. Now if we can just steer clear of those bloody black ops blokes what destroyed the last flat I was crashing in,(nice flat it was too), we should be OK... Uh oh. I just got a text from Lee, looks like our uninvited guests are back.

Fired Some Kid

You may have heard recently that I'm hosting my own reality show. I'm sure the promos have been playing all over NBC.

We're a week into The Company Apprentice and already things are getting interesting.

The first task had the teams coming up with team names, team logos, celebrity endorsements and more. Both did an admirable job, but Team Two, who picked the name Team One, had a couple of no shows.

Mr. Muggles apparently got lost in traffic on his way to get a celebrity endorsement. Or something. The cameras weren't on him at the time, so I suspect a drunken-excursion with Lindsay Lohan that ended with a bang under a bridge in Central Park.

The project manager, or El Jefe, for the losing team was Professor Charles Xavier. You may know him as the pedophile, I mean, professor, that runs a school for gifted children. He's also bald and crippled, impossible to miss (said the taxi driver that crippled him).

Then there was some random kid. Nobody knows who is, but he and Claire would argue all the time. He has no special abilities. He's really uninteresting.


So, those were my three choices. Part of me wanted to fire them all. Part of me wanted to fire the Australian on the winning team.

But only one could hear those words....

"You're Fired!"