I really need to escape this place. It’s Halloween and I’m forced to do manuel labor and bond over food as we worship the blueberry Waffle Gods. This isn’t a carnival haven for people with abilities. It’s like a roach hotel and once you get sucked in you can’t get out. Although I had several chances to escape, Lydia always kept me grounded. But now that she’s playing reindeer games with that emotional crack head Sylar, I might just not have anything to tie me down to the carnival.
The other day, Sylar thought he saw someone, and so did I. It was my water witch, the beautiful Blonde Goddess who was immune to my knife tricks. But once More Sylar stopped me from finding her. And you know why? Because he had to pull the oh -whoa-is – me I don’t know who I am, and I think I shook a lot of hands and flew jets and look at me! I look like a mime! So Samuel shooed him off and sent the Water Witch away! Leaving me once more feeling like the red headed left handed step child.
So I’ve decided to escape the carnival once and for all. But in order to do that I needed a disguise which meant a trip to the local costume Shop. It wasn’t easy sneaking away, with Lydia being Emo about her daughter Amanda and Samuel with his we are a loving family please eat my waffles spiel. While Sylar was crying like a bitchy little girl on PMS, and Samuel was out getting revenge on the backwoods cops that went all small town vigilante with a side of deliverance on poor Jeremy I decided to run into the city and visit the local costume shops.
My first Choice was to dress like Toad from the X-Men. But once I looked in the mirror I thought maybe I better try something else. Maybe it was the green mousse hair, the giant tongue or the ridiculous looking goggles. Why would he wear them anyways? Why am I running around looking like a sycophant Frogman?
My Second Choice was to dress like Darth Maul from Starwars. As I contemplated buying Princess Leia’s Gold Bikini (in case the water witch is into Role-Play) I noticed a group of girls staring at me and giggling.
“Stop following me!” I snapped at the group of young girls trailing behind me. Normally I’m not opposed to woman following me, but in this case I found it disturbing. First of all they were teenage girls and some boys as well. Second of all, they were all Starwars fans wearing T-shirts of Darth Maul.
“But you look like the guy who played Darth Maul,” a blonde girl said as she stepped in front of the pack.
Geez, I wasn’t even wearing the mask. I’ll I had on was the robe and funky boots. “Yeah, because I’m wearing a costume,” I said spinning around and doing Darth Mauls signature spin.
“But we watched you throw those knives and you did the signature Darth Maul spin, we saw it!” She pointed her finger at me. “Can we just have your autograph, or you know take pictures or something?”
“You have me confused with somebody else; I’ve never been in a Starwars movie, let alone a movie at all! I just work at the carnival. Look if you leave me alone, I’ll give you some free passes for the Ferris wheel or something.”
So I decided not to go with the Darth Maul Costume. Instead I decided to go with being Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe. That way my face was covered, the water witch could still see my hot body and if any kids came over and bugged me I’d just swipe them with my sword and steal their candy. So Ms. Water Witch, since your in the business of helping others, why don’t you just come to the carnival and help me?
Edgar, the unloved Carnie.