Musings in my confusion

So I'm kinda laying low for the time being. After winning the big jackpot and my problems with being a decoy, it's best I stay out of the spotlight a while. The Christmas party was a nice break... I get the impression more covert help will required of me soon, so I'd best get a start on that by going completely stealth, but not nearly as stealthy as my hero, Claude. *sigh* I think he's still annoyed at me for what happened while I was playing decoy so he could go to two funerals. I adore him but he's not the most trusting individual, not that I blame him. I have noticed the way he scowls any time Mr. Bennet is around. Claude won't talk about it, but I did see some sort of betrayal in my cards when I did a reading on it. I wish I knew how I could help.

Of course the fact that Claude rolls his eyes any time I try to offer help or even try to quietly approach him isn't very encouraging. For a man who's invisible, it seems the rest of us are transparent to him! Maybe I ought to just get him some beer and "shut it."

The only problem with that is, if I even look like I'm headed for a place that sells beer or alcohol, Claude finds a way to divert me from it. I still don't remember much from when I got drunk while in disguise, but I can tell you I'm avoiding drinking myself. Claude handles it just fine. Wish I could say the same for my handling of our...well whatever this is. I still can't even define it. Don't partners in crime or whatever talk to each other?





If I thought it wouldn't draw too much attention, I'd start my own business, not that I'm big on crowds, or that I like reading for money, but, I think it would be a lot less suspicious than trying to keep the casino gig going any longer. It would also keep my mind off of things. I'm also a lot less likely to get into trouble if I'm busy. I'd go back to Nursing, but the schedule is so limiting. I did love it but not being able to come and go as I pleased was rather confining as was trying to sleep so I'd be sharp for work. I'm nocturnal by nature, which was good for me as nights are not as quiet as one might think. Sleep is hard to come by for me as usually I get awakened or I have horrible nightmares of things to come. I'm glad I retired early from Nursing even if I'm now a seer who can't see her own future.

And Claude, if you're reading this, you should know I did have a dream about you and it wasn't a good one. I won't post it here as I dunno who else might read it, although I get the impression you'd rather read it than talk to me :( .