Cyclops needs a new pair of shoes

Okay, so I have to make a friend for me and Sylar. Well that shouldn't be too tough. I'm a likable kind of guy. I have lot's of friends. There's . . um . . let's see . . well . . I played poker with the Avengers once. They didn't kick me out right away. And that cab driver who brought me here from the airport was kind of chatty.

Hey. that's it! Maybe I could catch a cab and talk the driver into being my friend. I've got forty bucks in my wallet which might be enough to make the dude chummy. Of course that's the last of my cash. I've been trying to save it to slip to Sylar. You know, to make her chummy.

I guess there's the X-Men. I can get one of them to be my friend. Maybe the Angel. Yeah, he's popular. He's probably forgiven me for that time I "accidentally" shot him out of the sky. Sure, he's rich and handsome and chicks love him. He'd be perfect - wait! What the heck am I thinking?? Sylar will be all over him like the media on Obama. Once she sees him, she won't want anything to do with me. That's what happened with every other girl I've been interested in. Angel is out.

Who else? Colossus? I guess he's kind of boring. Growing up on a farm doesn't make for good stories. Wolverine? Naw, he might eat her.

Damn, how do people make friends? To make . . wait a minute . . make a friend? "Make" a friend? I've got it!

* One quick X-Jet trip to Xavier's School for Gifted Students later *

Damn, Beast is in his lab. I've got to get him out of there.

"Hey Hank, how's it going?"

"Well if it isn't the sychophantic Cyclops. I had thought you were participating in that reality televsion program? You couldn't have been ejected already, could you?"

"Naw, I'm just on a little break. Listen, there's this Domino's guy upstairs with 10 large extra-cheese and pepporini pizzas. Nobody knows who ordered it though."

"Pizza? Um . . perhaps it would behoove me to investigate further. After all, we wouldn't want to cause offense."

He he. Perfect. That should keep Tubs busy for about an hour. Now to see if he has any of those Lindsay Lohan robots lying around. He goes through those things like kleenex.

Let's see . . ah . . there's one in the incubator right now. I'll just press "activate" and . .

"Please state personality type desired."

Hmm, the choices are timid, hostile, demure, and slutty. Let's see . . which one am I going to go with? My, this is a toughie. Oh, I know . . let's try slutty.

"Greetings master. My, you are strong."

Oh man, this robot chick is hot! She's squeezing my arms.

"I love your tight uniform, it's soooo sexy. It really shows off your . . bulges."

"Thanks babe. Er, maybe you should put on some clothes."

"Why bother? You know I'm just going to take them off again."

Oh yeah, this is going to be a lot of fun. Maybe I can finally get that three way going!