Nathan Petrelli accepts the 1st Challenge

Hello all. Sylar posted our first challenge. All we had to do was show off our hotness and make a good impression. It sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? Sadly, I had problems from the start. I figured I had this challenge down cold, but some jerk snuck into my room and crazy glued my luggage together! When I find out who the culprit is, I’ll make them feel the Petrelli wrath; and when I say Petrelli wrath, I do mean I’ll call my Mumzie right over!

Anyway, let me get back on topic. When I discovered I couldn’t open my suitcase, I considered going down in the buff. I mean one sight of my perfectly nude body would probably get me immunity for the entire game, but knowing there are youngsters participating forced me to abandon the idea. So I decided instead to go into the other contestant’s rooms and “borrow” some of their clothes.

The first room I entered turned out to be Elle’s. She was nowhere in sight, so I decided to try on a few of her garbs while she was out. I figured there weren’t a lot of gender rules around this place anyway so what the #%$. It turned out, that I didn’t look half bad, in spite of my need to find a tanning bed. Unfortunately, while modeling different poses in front of the mirror, I heard an unsettling rip. Son of a %#$, I quickly took off the dress and shoved it toward the back of her closet. Elle has tons of clothes; she probably will not even miss that one. I didn’t have time to worry about it though, because I was afraid time might run out for me. If I missed my first challenge, even my incredible good looks would not get me back into Sylar’s good graces.

So, I left Elle’s room and snuck through the next unlocked door. A quick look through some of the unpacked luggage provided me with a suit. I must be in Bennet’s room. The suit was of the most deplorable quality and cut. I would have thought the Company paid enough to at least get one tailored suit, but I guess not. I put on the suit and it was a little bulky in the hips. I didn’t know Bennet had such a large bum. Seriously, I could fit two hams in the thing… Well, I decided it would have to suffice and started for the door, but then, to my great alarm, it opened to reveal the butler! We stood staring at each other for a moment, and then he finally asked me, “What are you doing in this room; and why are you wearing Agent Hanson’s clothes?”

Well, I didn’t know what to say to that revelation, so I just pretended like I was sleep walking. I thanked him for waking me and immediately disrobed. I didn’t have time to stick around and make sure he wouldn’t tell, so I gave him one of my best dazzling smiles and flexed my bum at him just to guarantee he wouldn’t rat me out. I left immediately and made sure I was on another hall before ducking into yet another room.

Finally, I hit the jackpot. All of the suits were perfectly tailored, and the occupant was almost the exact same size as me. Ahh, this must be Adam’s room. Well, he owes me more than a suit; but it’s a good place to start. After I was fully frocked, I ran out of the room and down the stairs to find Sylar with almost all of the other contestants. Apparently I wasn't late after all.

However, as I ran to get in line, I tripped over the rug and fell face- first into Sylar’s bresticles!? At first, I felt a little embarrassed, but then I became enthralled! His bresticles felt so real, and believe me when I say I have experience at this sort of thing. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them. I played in rapt concentration until I heard a few muffled giggles…Uh Oh…

I slowly raised my head to look into Sylar’s eyes. I swear, he could be an expert poker player….I couldn’t tell if he was angry or excited. He was simply looking at me... I'm not sure, but I think he was staring at my forehead. It was hard to tell from that angle. I belatedly remembered that I should remove my hands from his breast, and that is what I did… quickly. I gave him my best smile and said the first thing that came to mind, “You’re the right kind of sinner to release my every fantasy.” . . .

For a brief moment, I thought my line may have redeemed me a little, until I heard someone whisper, “Isn’t that a line from a Pat Benatar song?” Well, I figured there wasn’t much I could do at this point, so I smiled again, turned around, flexed my bum, and walked back to the line of contestants. . .Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed in the morning.