Challenge 3: Molly and the Mollettes!!!

OMG, this is, like, SO perfect!! EEEEK!! I am, like, SO excited about this challenge!! Of course, I am so TOTALLY sad that I didn’t win immunity last week, especially since I went through all that trouble to get it on with Ryan Merriman (I’ll never feel the same about chocolate whipped cream again…). But I am, like, SO glad that Son Pan and Draculina are gone!! Who are they, anyway? They’re not even heroes!! LOL.

So anyway, as I was saying before, this challenge is SO TOTALLY perfect because I took voice lessons for three years when I was a young, hot child (which I still am…it’s awesome being youthful!!)!! So anyway, I will SO TOTALLY ace this challenge!! Getting a boy…er, girl band (I’m a girl…right? Okay, just making sure…) together should be so totally easy!!

I know exactly who I’ll recruit…

Carrie Underwood.

Ann Brashares.

Laura Dower

And, last but TOTALLY not least…

Adair Tishler!! If you read my last challenge, you know that I’m an Adair Tishler look-a-like and TOTALLY her biggest fan!!

So, after receiving the challenge from Sylar (who is SO hot I got sunburned!) I totally went off to find the four celebrities who would help me win immunity this week (it’s about time!).

I made up a little list of the four girls so I could keep track of them. I decided to begin with Carrie Underwood. With my power, it would be, like, SO easy to find everyone!! Getting them to be in my band would be the hard part…

I closed my eyes and thought about Carrie Underwood singing at the Grammy’s. If I was Sylar I would think she was hot!! Except Sylar is, like, WAY hotter…Obviously!! Heh…heh…

Carrie Underwood was totally at her house in L.A.! I was having a serious case of déjà vu when I hopped on a totally hot plane in my totally hot clothes to head to L.A. and party with…er, find Carrie. This was totally what happened last week with Ryan Merriman!! Except, um, er, I’m totally not doing the same thing with Carrie! Um…LOL. Yeah!!

I blew chunks a couple times on the plane when we hit some turbulence, totally staining the guy next to me’s Hawaiian shirt!! It was totally worth him swearing and spraying me with pepper spray when the taxi driver I hailed down in L.A. told me he knew Carrie Underwood’s address!!! This was going, like, SO well!!

However, I got totally sexily distracted when I saw a casino!! I ran off to try my luck at the slot machines for a few hours. By the time I had lost the three hundred dollars I bought and had twenty-seven dollars with me, I was ready to go to Carrie’s house!! The same cab driver was totally waiting for me!! Except he said I had to pay him extra because I kept him waiting!! This totally sucked ‘cause I only had $27, so I went back to the slot machines and played until I had five thousand dollars!!

With moolah spilling out of my pockets and me sexily reapplying my lip gloss, I hopped back in the cab, only to realize I had climbed into the back of a limo!! This would have been, like, SO TOTALLY great…if Alexz Johnson and Zach Braff hadn’t been making out together!!

After filming it for a few minutes for YouTube (I’d totally get a million viewers!) I got TOTALLY grossed out!! “EW!” I exclaimed. “Aren’t you a little old for Alexz?” I asked Zach. “And isn’t your nose a little too big for someone as hot as her?” They both glared at me for intruding.

“Where I stick my tongue is none of your business, Molly!” Alexz snapped. Finally!! Someone who knew me!

“I’m a big fan of Final Destination 3 and Scrubs!” I gushed. “I especially loved your death scene, Alexz! And every time you slept with Sarah Chalke, Zach, I peed my pants! THAT’S how good it was!” They were both just plain staring at me now!! “Do I have a booger or something?” They both threw me out of the limo.

I returned to the cab and was taken to Carrie’s house…FINALLY!! I broke in, using my Adair Tishler trick again (I REALLY look like her) and went straight to Carrie’s room!! Romantic music was cranking out.

“Oh, Carrie!” exclaimed the voice of Jordin Sparks!! I could totally tell it was her, since I’ve listened to her album a million times in a row.

I burst in only to see Carrie and Prince getting down and dirty on Carrie’s bed!! Oops…I guess Jordin Sparks was actually Prince! My bad! *giggle, giggle*

“Adair Tishler?” gasped Carrie, looking up.

“Close enough!” I exclaimed sexily. “I’m on a hot mission, and I need your vocal assistance, Carrie.” I explained everything to her, and she totally agreed, especially after she found out I was getting Laura Dower, too! (Who knew – Carrie is a huge fan of those Madison Finn books!)

“So long, Prince!” Carrie cried after pulling on a white Polo top and a pair of denim shorts over her pink lingerie. We hopped in Carrie’s limo (and I’m glad to say that Alexz and Zach were NOT making out in the back!) and ordered the driver to take us to NYC.

“Why are we going there? How are we getting Ann Brashares? How are we finding all of them? Can we rap a little bit?” Carrie asked questions the whole time as I crossed her name off my list.

“Don’t you watch Heroes?” I asked, disgusted.

“What’s that?” she asked dumbly. “If it’s one of those makeover shows, I haven’t been watching those since the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy stole my Gucci hand bag.”

“Whatever,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I have this super power thing where I know where people are!! My super power TOTALLY told me that Ann Brashares is TOTALLY at a book signing in NYC!” She nodded, looking a little confused.

A couple hours and a few maraschino cherries later we arrived right outside the bookstore that Ann Brashares was in!! We ran inside giggling madly and totally cutting in front of everyone else who was in line to get their book signed!! They started yelling and throwing tomatoes at us, but we ignored them.

“ANN!” we screamed. “We’re your biggest fans!!”

“I love those magical pants!” I added. She looked WAY confused!! After finding out that Ann played the piccolo (perfect!) I explained everything and she reluctantly agreed to join my band. She reminded me that she couldn’t leave the book signing early, but Carrie and I grabbed Ann by her designer leather jacket sleeves and threw her in the, like, limo!!

“Next stop…Peurto Rico!” I exclaimed SO TOTALLY excitedly after crossing Ann off my list!!

“Uh, why Peurto Rico?” Carrie and Ann asked in between checking their fingernails (Carrie) and blowing their noses (Ann).

I explained that, using my totally hot superpower, I found out Laura Dower was vacationing in Peurto Rico!! We drove and drove in the limo for hours, giggling and snorting and eating black olives and watching The Jane Austen Book Club in the little limo TV. Finally we arrived at the very tip of Florida, and the limo driver got totally un-sexy and said he couldn’t drive any further!! We were pissed…well, I was pissed, but Carrie and Ann were busy reading Cosmopolitan together and giggling girlishly.

“Just keep driving!!” I demanded angrily, shaking my fist menacingly at the driver. He sighed and rolled his eyes, but drove right into the ocean!! It was kind of exciting, except for when we almost all drowned. But we kept driving through the ocean anyway and eventually we washed up on the shores of Peurto Rico!!

“To the resort where Laura Dower is!” I exclaimed dramatically!! The waterlogged limo totally took us to this, like, hot resort!! We went inside, giggling and painting our nails and walking in high heels all at the same time!! We found Laura Dower lying by the beach, soaking up the sun and sipping a mojito.

“LAURA DOWER!!” we screamed. I explained everything, which was getting pretty tiring.

“Two reasons I can’t do that,” she said dryly after I finished. “One, I don’t play an instrument and I can’t sing. Two, I don’t want to leave Peurto Rico yet!”

“Too bad!” I exclaimed. We dragged Laura kicking and screaming (literally!) out of the resort and tossed her into the limo. “You can pretend to play the guitar,” I decided.

Last but not least was Adair Tishler!! This was going to be great!! “WE’RE GOING TO MEET ADAIR TISHLER!!” we all screamed as the driver took us to Hollywood where Adair was filming Heroes. We were all HUGE Adair Tishler fans. She is so hot!! Like I said last week, people are always telling me I look like her!!

When we first looked at each other, it was a little awkward. I mean, she had totally stolen my look!! Finally we got over that and both started giggling girlishly, which is totally one of my hobbies and talents.

“I’d love to be in your band!” she exclaimed after I told her the whole thing for, like, the millionth time! “What’s it called?” I had to think for a minute. I hadn’t even thought of a name yet!

“Molly and the Mollettes,” I decided finally. On that note, we waved goodbye to Greg Grunberg and Sendhil Ramamurthy and hopped back in the limo for, like, the millionth time! Adair was totally amazed by the Sylar’s Bachelor mansion when we arrived!!

“I wish I was on Sylar’s Bachelor!” she exclaimed enviously as we went into the dressing room to prepare for the world premiere of Molly and the Mollettes!

Introducing…

Molly and the Mollettes!!

Molly Walker, lead singer!

Carrie Underwood, background vocals and dancer!

Ann Brashares, piccolo!

Laura Dower, background vocals and dancer!

Adair Tishler, guitar made out of rubber bands and a box!

Of course, Carrie grumbled a little bit about not being the lead singer, but I put a few ice cubes down her pants and she quieted down. We changed into skimpy pink and silver outfits and put on seven pounds of makeup each. Finally…we were, like, SO TOTALLY ready!!

“EEK!” I exclaimed as we headed backstage to perform for the others. “THIS IS GONNA BE SO AWESOME!!”

We all squealed for a minute just as the curtains rose. We were singing a Sylar’s Bachelor version of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star!! It was going to be SO TOTALLY awesome!! Laura and Carrie began dancing, Adair began strumming the rubber bands, and Ann blasted on her piccolo!! I began singing my heart out! It was AWESOME!!

Twinkle, twinkle, little Sylar!
He’s so hot I need sun screen!
Like a sexy diamond in my fantasies!!
Twinkle, twinkle, little Sylar!!

Eat your heart out, Mr. Glasses.