The Adventures of Pete and Prete

Hello all. It's Peter. Sorry I haven't had the time to blog recently, but I've been as busy as a hibernating bear trying to catch my evil twin brother, Preter, who escaped from captivity in my basement, AKA POz. He somehow didn't get shanked by all the other people I hate (William Shatner, Mark Hamil, and a Cylon) I trap in my basement, and escaped by faking an Anthrax scare.

Let me back up a bit and give you the gruesome beginnings. After Sylar stabbed me in the head with a shard of glass, I was in the custody of a Doctor Mohinder Suresh. Well, before he dropped me off to experience the worst pain of my life (being brought back to), Mohindy took from me what is to precious ambergris from the whale. That's right - my precious DNA, which should never be passed on. He took it, and, after praying to several cows, made a clone of me, the evil Preter!

Well, this Preter is pure evil. He has as much fun as a flying squirrel in flight, laughs as much as a fully endowed male amongst eunuchs, and worst of all, talks as metaphorically and symbolically as a sexy Sylar! He is shallow, like the pool of my happiness! He shows no emotion, except for great amounts of joy and lust! He is the anti-Peter!

Don't believe me? Well so far, since Preter escaped from my basement, he's gone to a strip club, tried to beat up my brother, shacked up with my brother's ex-wife, and went forward in time to a non-existent future and slept with my Kaitlin under the guise of Peter! KAITLINNNNN!

Well, once I catch him, I'm going to kill him like I kill all my girlfriends - inadvertently! Hey, it still gets the job done, doesn't it? Once I get sensual, Dmitri Karamazov Preter out of the way, all that's left will be me, Ivan Peter. Well, my future's looking bright, as an intellectual Russian who eventually goes insane. Evil twin killing. Dostoevsky. Insane Russian Scholar Peter. Such is anti-Preter.