Two Funerals and an Invisible Man

It has been a hectic last few days. Two funerals within two days. I am surprised that I even have time to type this post. I am posting this from the airport in Japan while waiting for my flight back to the US. I told Tarot I would be right back.

Remember in my last post I was wondering about my old friend Ivan? I did some looking online and found his obituary.

Ivan the Terribly Dead

Vandals broke into Ivan Spektor's house and shot him dead. Though nothing was stolen, a mess was made, clearly indicating it was not a planned hit. Ivan is survived by his wife, two children and grandchildren. He will be joining his beloved daughter, of whom we can only hope he still retains his memories. The company for which Ivan worked is handling the arrangements in honor of his dedication as a regional manager of textile sales. He will be missed. Let us all drink in his honor.

It was sad, and tragic. But I love a good reason to drink.

I thought the least I could do was go to the funeral. Then, I had to stop at Kaito Nakamura's funeral too. Kaito was murdered a few days ago in New York.

One huge advantage of being invisible is free air fare. I can't remember the last time I had to pay for a plane ticket. It's saved me thousands of dollars. The only down side is that I have to be careful when snatching a beverage from the drink cart. I also have to make sure to stay away from metal detectors too. I've set the buggers off in the past. I try to wait until an Arab is passing through, then I make my move. I do, on occasion, have fun messing with the drug-sniffin' dogs. They freak out, and the booby bobbies don't know whats is going on. Those bumpkins!

I was able to get to Ukraine with no problem. My Russian was a little rusty, and I had some problems with my cabbie. I gave him the name of the church, and he took me to what looked liked a brothel. I told him, "Not this place...yet." The ignorant bloke nodded and turned the cab around. Then we ended up driving around for what seemed a bloody eternity. He finally stopped at this old building. It didn't look like a church either. Turns out he misunderstood me and thought I said chicken shop. At this point, I just gave up and gave the man some money. I had never had this many problems with cabbies before. Hell, the Indian drivers in NYC understand better than this Ukrainian bloke. It's as if they're all biogeneticists compared to their empty-headed Ukrainian counterparts.

I ended up stopping at a police station for directions. Turns out the church was a block away. Luckily, I made it in time.

I decided to use my power at the funeral just in case anyone from the company was present, and it was a good thing. I noticed a few faces from the company. None of the bigwigs where there. I was very surprised that Bob Bishop wasn't there. It would have been something that yank would have done to show how great the company was. He was always a kiss arse.

The funeral was wonderful. I felt sorry for his wife. He loved her so much. He would talk about her and his children and grandchildren all the time. His wife cooked some of the best Russian food I have ever eaten, of course, most Russian food tastes like pig intestines, and usually is, so I guess that's not saying too much. I wish I could have talked to her there, but I couldn't risk it. Plus, I had to leave Odessa and go to Japan.

Kaito's funeral was nice. It was beautiful there. I couldn't believe how much his son, Hiro has grown. I remember him being a little chubby kid playing with his gaming device. And look at him now, a slightly taller chubby kid playing with his gaming device. It was sad to hear how Kaito had died, but I wasn't surprised that someone finally whacked him. Probably the Company got to him too. His son's eulogy was very nice, poetic even.

I am glad I got so see some of my former colleagues' final restin' places. It was a touching moment. Too touching perhaps. I need to get back to the casino. Hopefully, Tarot has won some big money for us.

Party! Party!

I was sitting in the Burnt Toast Diner with Simon and Monty having dessert. I was told the Cherry Pie is terrific.
"Are we going to see daddy?" Monty cried out excitedly while playing the the ice in his soda.
"How long can we see him?" Simon asked me.
My two little Stepford boys,they grow up so fast. I proudly looked at them as they both managed to get vanilla ice cream on their perfect mugs. They were dressed in their new Cashmere crewneck sweaters,oxford shirts and brand new cords.
Their father then marched into the diner and he looked like this:

Monty jumped off his chair and ran to Nathan,who evidently has taken to just wearing pajama bottoms. He hasn't done such a thing since our first year of dating!
Nathan swooped Monty up in his arms and grinned at me sheepishly "Long story,but
perfectly legit, I swear."
Thank goodness the diner was barely populated,so not many people were staring
at my former/present husband.
He bent over to give me a kiss on the lips "I miss you." he whispered,"I want to be a family again."
I could smell his Georgio Armani cologne and was not able to nag him about his odd attire.
Nathan set Monty down and gave Simon a big bear hug. He sat down and ordered some coffee.
"Do we really get to stay the night with you dad?" Simon scampered off his chair
and was ready to head out.
I looked into Nathan's sober eyes, I was so surprised and was hoping this wasn't
just an act.
"You look tired, why don't you take the night off while I have the boys?"


A night off? By myself? No one else,not even Mama Petrelli?
I'm going to Disneyland!

A bright future

The past few days have been so eventful! I spent 3 whole days crying non-stop in order to cope with the many changes going on in my life.

Sybriel has changed so much over our journey. At the begining he couldn't stop looking at my brother. Now he is by my side every minute of the day! He is just like Alejandro, only white. We take picnics together and touch each other when mama isn't looking. Except Alejandro is watching Sybriel and me like mama watched Alejandro and me.

With Alejandro acting as my mother rather than my brother/love of my life, our relationship has been fizzeling. He was constantly nagging me about Sybriel and his theories on how he eats brains (so silly!).

"This Sybriel is EVIL, Maya. EVIL!" He told me for the 100th time that day.

"Why do you speak this way of our companion? In relationships such as these, we must be completely loving and open with each other, not accuse a member of being a psychopath!" I began to cry for the 200th time that day. However, Alejandro did not take my hand. "I can't help you Maya. Not if you are aligning yourself with that crazy man," And he turned on his heal and left me to tear my clothes and pull my hair.

This is how Sybriel found me. I looked up to see him skipping with a picnic basket swinging at his side. The mere sight of him dried my tears.

*sigh/sniffle* Sybriel... Later that night, after Alejandro started back for home, I was feeling lonely. It had been three whole minutes since my last hug, so naturally I pounded on Sybriel's door in a blind panic. And lo and behold! A vision of beauty! A shining, glistening, half naked angel!

Something inside of me awoke. Something that I hadn't felt since when mama used to give me and Alejandro joint baths. I- I couldn't help myself. Of course, after our kiss, I had to give myself fifty lashes and cry in the dark for 4 hours, as someone as wretched as me does not deserve this pleasure. But it was worth it. I know! If I show Alejandro how beautiful Sybriel is, he will have to come back to us! We will be a happy threesome again! I'll send him a post card with a picture! How do you address a card to a person who is illegally traveling to Mexico (or somewhere in that area. I can never remember)? I am so excited- Oh dear. That's another 20 lashes and 2 hours in the dark. Afterward maybe Sybriel will give me some crayons to write a letter to Alejandro. I must be quiet though. Sybriel told me not to wake the little girl or else he'll have to whip me himself.

Beat Up by Nerdy Little Chicken-Boy?!

Yo, yo, yo, daddy-o's! Things have been pretty interesting here down on the G-side (you know, "G" as in "Gulf" -- New Orleans, man!) ever since Auntie Niki unloaded her little chicken-boy of a son on Nana and us a couple of weeks ago. Before, whenever I look at Little Jerry Curls I'd get all pissed off; he was always so happy and cheery, so much so that I always expected that he'd just start skipping around the kitchen singing Soulja Boy like Britney Spears or something.

I have to admit that I was a little jealous, knawmsayin'? I know how it feels to lose someone or something that's really important to you. Heck, I practically lost my entire city (G-side stand up! woot woot!)!!!! The thing is that I've never really gotten over it; deep down inside the anger is still there. I'm beginning to think that it'll never go away. I was jealous of chicken-boy, with all his smiling, his computers, and his geeky little comic books. All those little pictures...with the little words...too small to read...who wants to read, anyway, knawmsayin'? I guess that's why I did what I did.

I didn't think he really knew what loss was all about, so when he told me about his comic book worth hundreds of dollars, I knew that I was going to take it. Just for a while, just so that he'd feel it hard enough. I was eventually going to give it back, I swear. Okay, MAYYYYBE I wanted to sell it -- gotta get that paper, knawmsayin'? G-side, stand up!

But when things went wrong, I saw a side of chicken-boy I never expected to see. Little Jerry Curls kicked my @$$! Can you believe it?! I still can't, even though I have the extra-bloody nose to prove it! The little coffee-colored girly-boy tackled me like a Saints linebacker, then hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't think a fist that small could hit that hard! Knamsayin'?!

I'll get him back, though. Chicken-boy, prepare to get your @$$ PLUCKED!!! KNAMSAYIN'?!?!?!?

Saving the World

"Well, Peter, are you ready to save the world?" Adam asked.

"From darkness? Is that even possible? We shall all be enshrouded by its misery one day, enshrouded like a mummified mummy who has been enbalmed with the fluid of pain. What's the point?"

"Uh...to save the world?"

"Oh, ok then. What do we do?"

Adam opened his mouth for a moment, and then shrugged.

"Aren't you supposed to have a plan or something?" I asked.

"My plan was to find you here in Canada."

Well, it seemed my new partner was about as useful as employing me as a motivational speaker...or so I've been told. I think I'd make an excellent motivational speaker. A lecture should never be without a suicide or two before the end, right? But I digress. My partner had no plan. Luckily, my emo brain was working overtime. And I knew exactly what we had to defeat to save the world...

Clowns.

That's right. Ever since my mother put me in this bed, I've known their true nature. Pure evil. Their ever-constant smile is just a trick to lull us into the complacency of a George Bush leading a war. I could never get a wink of sleep in this bed. It took me years to be able to overcome the fear it instilled in me, until finally, after much soul searching and song writing, I finally slept in it, for a solid 30 minutes, at the age of 22. I then awoke, screaming and crying, my bed wet.

Adam and I travelled to the pit of Hell...the circus. It was here that we found the usurpers of the world. The clowns, their joy sickened me. As far as I'm concerned, and, as far as I'm concerned, my concern is the only concern that matters, any creature who shows no emotion but happiness is as evil as Walt Disney.

"Right," Adam said, drawing his sword. "I'll take this one, you take the happy-looking one."

"Die, bringers of evil!" I shouted, and ran towards the smiling clowns, ready to tear them apart! And tear them apart they did...tear apart their souls! I proceeded to share with them tales of my dark and dreary life, of my girlfriend's dying, and my other, illegal immigrant girlfriend's deportion. And how now whenever I tell people about that deported girlfriend they all think she was Mexican. True, tragic tales.

Immediately, the death started. Mass clown suicide. A pitiful thing. But my tales of gloom was their kryptonite. As creatures powered by happiness, the opposite destroyed them. Just like how the opposite of cheese, cats, destroys mice. My logic was flawless.

Anyways, a few of the clowns had plugged their ears when I started my storytelling and they smiled at me. Real smiles, not painted on ones! This doubled my rageful rage!

Using my dark powers of telekinesis, I threw one high into the air. An elephant bellowed, and I turned and used my power on another clown of doom. I heard a snap, and a tear, before Adam shouted.

"Peter!" Adam called out to me. I turned to look at him.



"I DID have a plan to save the world! I forgot! But...uh...this isn't it."

"Oh," I mused, scratching my head. I wasn't convinced. I felt a darkness pass over the circus. A good darkness. The evil of joy had been exorcised. The world was a better place. It was...saved. But I thought I'd better humor my new partner, to make him think his plan was important (even though it really wasn't, the world having been saved, and all). "Well, at least we had some fun, right? Damn clowns."

"Uh, right. Well, shall we?"

So off we went again, to "save the world," or so Adam thinks, which isn't true, unless it involves clown killing, which I hope to God will be the case. Clowns dead. Children crying. World saved. Such is Peter.

Holy Word

Well, I was murdered. You heard it right. If you haven't been reading my blog, then you're probably clueless.

But don't worry, I'm somewhat clueless too. I have no idea where I am. I only know that I've arisen from the dead, and I'm in some kind of tomb. It looks familiar, like a place where I once kept paper, but it could also be some elaborate Jigsaw trap. I recently watched Saw IV, and this is how it always starts. You wake up in a mysterious situation. I haven't left my bed yet out of fear I may trigger some evil device.

If I am at Primatech, then it's good news for me. It will help me fulfill my mission of taking down the company. I just have to wait for Bob to come in to say "Hello," as Bob often does. Then, I can pounce! After that, I just need to finish off Elle. Then, I can deal with Mohinder. Mohinder Suresh shot me in my wonderful glasses. He ruined them! I suspect, though, that he may have also resurrected me. If he thinks giving me life can make up for ruining my favorite pair of glasses, he's terribly mistaken. I still plan to get my revenge on him.

My message of Hellfire revenge, isn't the one I came here to deliver. I've come to the Burnt Toast Diner to get out a message to my Claire Bear. She no doubt thinks I am dead, and like any grieving teenage daughter, she has probably become a lesbian, gained 50 pounds and is bullying all the elementary kids fortunate enough to have both parents. I can't let that happen. I need her to know that I am still alive.

Looking back, I see it was a good thing we taught her to read. I was against it from the beginning.

"If she can read, she'll be harder to control, to manipulate. And her freewill can put us in danger!"

"In danger?" Sandra had replied. "From what?"

"From the evil paper company I work for!"

"Primatech is evil?"

And that's how I first started using The Haitian on Sandra. Since I was unable to make an effective point against Claire's literacy without exposing the truth to Sandra, I had no choice but to give in. Claire learned to read.

And now her reading can finally do some good! She can read this blog post.

I'm having difficulty decided what to order her to do. My own destiny is easy to figure out; as you may have noticed, my life is pretty much a parallel of Jesus and Darth Vader. So, all I need to do is heal a bunch of people and throw my boss down a ventilation shaft.

Unfortunately, all evidence of Jesus's daughter was destroyed by an evil organization. And so there's nothing to help guide her in her destiny.

Luckily, though, George Lucas had the non-sexist foresight to include a daughter in his epic double trilogy. Claire clearly needs to become a princess and marry some hotshot, self-obsessed flyboy....if West had some manliness, he might fit that description.

So, Claire, if you're reading this. I am still alive. Marry West and become a princess.

Uh, oh. I just thought of something. What if West is Luke? They have a similar haircut, and Han Solo was a regular person, but West is an evolved human, which is like a Jedi. So....West is your brother!

Claire, if you're reading this, stay away from West. I think he's your brother. Your real father isn't all that faithful, and seeing how he can fly, I'm sure he has children all over the world. Just a warning. You don't want to do anything you'll come to regret.

But you still have to become a princess. And run from Opus Dei...I mean, Primatech.

Shhh! I'm invisible!

I'm Claude Rains the invisible man!:D
(OK so I'm really Tarot but it's not every day I get to be awesome! See Claude hadda step out for a bit and since folks tend not to notice Tarot, now I'm Claude. Whadda you mean you're confused?)


Anyway...I had been avoiding the bar, prior to m- that is Tarot's "victory beer," but then I decided I needed to hang about over there. Since you can't sit at the bar and not drink, I bought a pint of Guinness. I was enjoying it but I'm afraid I don't quite have the tolerance I sho-, that is, used to have. I reckon I should be all right so long as I avoid the Roulette table.

I was beginning to think I had the hang of things when this pigeon flew in. I thought I was drunk and hallucinating but, since the other patrons saw the bird too, I knew I must be doing OK. When the pigeon perched on my shoulder, I realized that I knew the bird; it was Clyde, from Clau- I mean my coop. Somehow he found me and didn't seem to mind how I looked, not that he'd ever seemed to fuss about that before. Truth be told he was more concerned about the lady birds, as I recall. Of course most of the time of late, I had been invisible, so looks didn't count for much anyroad, with any of the flock.



Well Clyde and me seemed to be getting a bit of attention, although Clyde was being a gentle-bird and not flying about and causing havoc. So I reckoned an exit might be in order but it was the oddest thing. Y'know for some reason I couldn't seem to go invisible, and I still can't even now. So, I just finished the pint (or was it 2, or 3 -maybe 4?) and ordered another but I still can't bloody seem to vanish. Hmm... Maybe I need more beer...

Vacation, all I ever wanted.

So, Daddy surprised me with a trip to Nordstroms and a vacation to sunny Southern California! EEEE. Of course the trip to Nordies would have been better if he wasn't sitting with me in the lingerie section. The over protective thing really gets old, he blames the drinking as of late and when I tried to make him buy me these cute lace boyshorts he bought me a five pack of day of the week granny panties. Whatev.

So, we get to the cozy little smog filled beach town of Costa Verde where I have to meet my partner. Partner? Oh come on. So, yes, I get Niki Sanders sloppy seconds because she's like...dying or whatev. All I'm saying is good riddance that's one less person I have to pry off a Petrelli. That's when I meet my partner, Mohinder, who is very, very cute with his constant reflection on like, liberty and the pursuit of crapiness. I'd love to lock him in a cage and squee at him but Daddy said no :( Joykill. We had an important task at hand and my needs had to be put on hold.

Then Daddy asked if I wanted a new My Little Pony and I reminded him I wasn't seven anymore. I remember the days when I used to get a new My Little Pony! He'd get me one, then lock me in a room and I'd take a nice long nap and when I woke up I'd feel like my head was fuzzy and full of lightning. Such a good daddy I have, right? WRONG. OMG, So we get a hold of my old "friend" Noah Bennet and he sticks my poor feetsies in a bucket of water (and didn't even offer a pedicure with that) and tells me I'm the reason he's always on the run with his dingbat daughter. Flashes of my 11th birthday party when I killed Adam Monroe 13 times and my Daddy watched and squeed for three hours came into my head, was creepy Noah serious? Was my Daddy a big bad meanie?

After I went all electroshock on myself (let's not talk about that) and Noah rambled on about old cars and dating his daughter with that flying kid with the emo hair, I was reunited with my daddy....only to get shot in the ARM. Ouch times ten, can you believe that? I was trying to be a good daughter and knock emo bangs out of the sky with the cheerleader from hell and got shot in the process.

Then, get this...wimpy Mohinder SHOT Noah! It was HOT. Not the actual shooting but Mohinder with a gun. I hit on him but he told me his boyfriend would be upset. I think he was experiencing post traumatic stress disorder because he meant girlfriend, right? We end up leaving with Noah's body in tow and Daddy tries to coddle me and I just wasn't feeling it.

I don't want to be morally...black anymore. I wanna be pink, or maybe purple. Being a bad girl just isn't the same when you find out your Daddy is a maniacal freakazoid. Ho-hum.

Oh! Noah apparently just woke up AND he's half naked. I gotta check that one out. I'll be back soon when the arm heals and I am morally pink and all that.

Trapped in a Box

Oh, My god, everything has changed in my world in the last 24 hours. I went from trapped in box to mourning Father in a box.

The day started normally. Mommy and Father where packing up the house. Lyle was being ignored. Claire was being a PMS teenage girl. Since I am royalty, I don't have to pack up. I act as the packing supervisor, making sure Mommy packs my doggy bath. Father and Claire got into one of their wonderful disagreements. Father wants to leave this town and Claire wants to stay with her Stalker. Blah.Blah.Blah, Same song and dance every morning. This time Claire stormed out on Father.

I decided that I needed a break from my duty. I found my favorite cushion and let the sandman take me away. The next thing I know, I hear Claire running back into the house. I was thinking "Great, Round 2 and it only nine" But she was telling her mom about some man following at school. She said something about yelling "I don't know you and don't touch me there". I figure it was her Stalker/Boyfriend. I was too bored to wake up so I went back to sleep.

All of a sudden, I felt someone grabbing me. I felt this person's big rough hands holding me. This person need a good hand cream. I didn't get a good look and by the time I was awake I was in a moving box. I heard noise above me and it got dark. Then BAM, a knife was poking though the top. Nice, my kidnapper is kind enough to give me air. I couldn't see much in my cell. I did come across one thing and one thing only, my beloved Twinkies.



I had to fight the urge at first. I had to keep telling myself, "I lost quite a bit of weight. I don't want to gain it back". But the Twinkie keep saying to me "Muggles, you know you want it." NO, I don't want you any more. I am a stronger being than I was a few weeks ago. To avoid any more temptation, I just moved over to the other side of the box.

After awhile, I heard some yapping. Yay! A search party for me! But the talking stayed in one spot. I heard Father's and Mother's voice. Then the creepy stalkers. The last voice was unknown. The voice sounded like another PMS girl. Her and father where mouthing each other back and fourth. One time, I even heard her scream. I tried to make noise but no one heard me.

The party only lasted an hour or two. It sounded like everyone left. No one even noticed I was missing. I heard the Twinkies say "I told you so, no one loves you but me". I told the Twinkies to shut up. "Bite Me" replied the Twinkies. "In your dreams, leave me alone you stupid cream-filled cake," I finally shot back.

The next thing I knew, I heard Mommy calling my name. I called out, "I am here!" She opened the box like a kid opening their present at Christmas. When I saw her tear-stained face, I knew something was wrong.

"Muggles honey, something happen to your daddy. He was killed today" She told me.

I was stunned with the news. All I could think of was taking care of Mommy. Maybe I should give her the Twinkie.

What I Wanted Most, I Wanted Least

It has happened. The day I've longed for, craved for, has arrived. The man in the horn-rimmed glasses is dead. And yet, I feel worse than ever.

I was wrong. Oh, how I was wrong! It turns out there are worse people in this world than him, greater evil threatening people like me and my darling Claire.

I feel trapped and overwhelmed. My plans are all for nothing! What good is a giant robot or an army of polar bears against a secret organization of untold resources? What good is my alien cunning and Claire's strength against inscruitable evil? Should I help Claire mourn her father, or should I at least take some pleasure in the fact that the man who tormented me is dead?

At least some good came about because of the day's events: Claire and I got to spend some one-on-one time in bed. Score! Gentlemen, I've said it before and I'll say it again--if you want a girl to fall in love with you, just humiliate her.

Er...That time that Claire and I humiliated Debbie doesn't count. That was a revenge humiliation, not an I-like-you humiliation. There's a subtle difference.

Teen angst x like, a jillion

OMG! I- Poor daddy! I'm like, uber sorry I said I hated you! I did then, but I don't now 'cause you're like dead and all. I've jumped off of the roof like 50 times to ease my pain. It would have been more but West caught me and distracted me with a makeout session on my parent's bed.


Later a I heard a knock at the door. "No, mom, we don't want any cookies or condoms!"

"No time for that now Claire," Mom said, walking in with her eyes covered.

"It's okay mom, we're just mourning, nothing indecent,"

"Is that what you kids call it these days?"

"No, just... what did you want?"

"Oh," She said. "I forgot," And she left the room shutting the door behind her. "Sure you don't need anything?" she called.

"That's when I decided to follow her into the kitchen. I figured she needed help getting putting out a fire or something. That seems like something she'd forget.

Anyway, sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a bologne sandwich was that creepy guy with the crappy plasic glasses from earlier. If I had a superpower that could be used as some sort of offense I would have used it on him. But don't so I gave him my skank look instead and called him fugly. To my suprise he didn't seem phased.

"I just came by to give you my condolences," He said.

"Like, yeah right, its all your fault and I hate you. Now I guess you want me to come identify the body or something? Well, I won't. You're an awful person if I'm going to look at my poor daddy's dead body with the man who's responsible leering over my shoulder,"

"Oh, well that's good. We don't have the body,"

"What?! I demand to see my daddy's body! Give it to me!"

It was lucky that West came in then, because I can't communicate very well during one of my cheerleader tantrums. "Where is the body then?" He asked.

The guy with the fugly glasses looked uncomfortable. "We uh... lost it?"

"How do you lose a body? You're like a super evil corperation, you can't lose bodies."

"We uh... need to fire the guy in charge of that kind of thing. We've been losing alot of stuff lately..."

"My dad is just stuff to you?! I so hate you!" I started crying and flailing again, so West dropped the guy off back in his van. That's when Mom came in. "When do you think your father will be home? His dinner is getting cold," She asked.

"OMG mom! Can't you do something like, useful? Go comfort Lyle or something he's probably pretty upset,"

"Oh..." She said.

"You forgot to pick him up from school again,"

"It's alright, I think he sleeps in the playground. He'll be alright till tomorrow."

Gah! Why is my family sooo messed up? Why is it that the smartest one is dead and who knows where? Is it at all pathetic that the most ration person here is a teenaged cheerleader! Gah! I'm going to jump off the roof again. Life sucks!!!!!1!eleven!!

The Dynamic Duo!

OMG, so like, the chef said I should post something disclaimatory or something about this post, because it's R-rated or somethin'. I didn't want to, but he was seriously throwin' a hissy fit. Personally, I think all posts should be XXX, but what do I know, I'm just a sexy Sylar. Anyways, the like, tale begins 'n stuff!

Lol, it's us, the dynamic duo! In case you haven't been reading my blog, I'll lte you know. Through a series of scary time holes, black continuums, and some hella awesome plotholes, Future Sylar has returned! He's come to give me advice 'n junk about getting my powers back, and help guide me away from my hetereosexuality sickness! That's right, I've been feeling...straight! Ewwww! 'N Future Sylar's never been straight and is still as Clay Aiken-ish as evah! Fabulous!

Well, after sweet, sexy May...I mean, sexy sweet Alejandro, and icky, manly Alejan...I mean, icky girly Maya went to bed, I snuck out with Future Sylar! He had a good idea, to not worry about icky boys and go hang out with some hot girls 'n try to befriend them 'n junk! Maybe they'll let me touch their boobies!

So we went to the best place to find girlies...the strip club! We went straight to the man in charge. "Hey, sir! We're like, lookin' to make some friends with the girlies here! Got any recommendations?"

The man looked at us funny. "Well, for a couple of weirdos like you," which he may have said because I was wearing a wig and dress lol, "I'd say Stumpy would be a good choice."

"Stumpy?" Future Sylar asked. "That doesn't sound very sexy."

"Hey now, ol' Stumpy's a real looker. And if you're lucky, she'll even take her stump protector off!"

"Stump? You mean like a lil Sylar?" I asked totally disgustedly...I mean, lustfully, pointing at my crotch!

"A little, what?" The guy was totally confused, then saw me pointing at my panties. "Oh, no, you sicko, not one of them, though I'm sure you'd like that." I wish he was right about that, but I wasn't so sure these days :( "An arm stump, and a hot one at that. It's turned gay men straight," the man finished.

"Turned gay men straight?" I thought to myself, worriedly.

"Naked female arm stumps?" Future Sylar mused, drooling. "We'll take her!"

"NOOooOOocoOOOoOOOO!" I shouted. I looked around at all the hot ladies. The world was spinning! Future Sylar was like, lusting over a girly's uncovered stump! My gayness was about to be vomitted from my gay stomach! I needed to do something! I needed to showcase my feminine sexuality! I ran up to the stage, pushed the stripper off, and began dancing around the pole!

The men immediately screamed in what I interpretted to be lust! One got so excited that he like, totally vomitted! Another couldn't take the sexiness so he scratched at his eyes until he went like, blind! Then, yelling in total pleasure and excitement, they ran away from the stage, I can only assume to run to the bathroom to squeeze the weasel, flog the dolphin, or, as my daddy used to say, wind the pocket watch lol! Except for the fact that they went out the exit, and not the bathroom. I guess they like to do it in public, like Sylars do, lol!

As the crowd dispersed, I could totally see Future Sylar gettin' close to Stumpy.



Her stump was still covered! Oh, Future Sylar, how could I have like, ever doubted you! You're so gay!

P.S. Future Sylar here! When Sylar went to the bathroom, I totally got Stumpy to show me her naked stump, and it was hot! Uh oh, Sylar's coming back, gotta go!

P.P.S. Not Future Sylar here. There like, something fishy about Future Sylar's "gayness," and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!

P.P.P.S. I could use a nice pair of new bottoms for my sexy bottom, lol!

My Fellow Bloggers:

Hee, Hee, I bet you thought I had a releapse with that title. Hee, Hee.

Seriously, I was just sitting around, relaxing and stuff when I decided the time had finally come to talk about what happened after I saved the world. You guys did know that I saved the world…Right… Well, I did. My baby bro went nuclear and I had to fly him into the atmosphere with my super cool flying powers. Yep. I’m a real live super hero. I flew Pete into the sky and then he started worrying about me and stuff, so he pushed me away. The next thing I remembered was waking up with my Mom standing over me.

Naturally, I was horrified to see my perfect-in-every-way face looked like a piece of fried bacon, but that knowledge paled to the fact that my baby bro was gone. I felt guilt for, four whole months over that thing.

In my desolation, I decided I would come clean with Heidi. I really spilled my guts about all my super hero powers and saving the world. She acted like she believed me, but the next thing I knew, we were in divorce court. (Well, I mean that figuratively because, naturally, I was still in the hospital with my severe radiation burns.) In retrospect, I think Heidi didn’t buy my story because I told her that I chose to save the world over becoming President. Ahh… She used to know me so well.

(I know, I know, you’re wondering if I fessed up about the illegitimate child thingy…Well, I’ll save that story for another time.)

Yep. Life was pretty abysmal until about two weeks ago. I woke up to find my finely-chiseled face had been restored. The hospital staff called it a miracle, Mumzie was suspicious about how it happened, but all I could think about was finding the closest bar; and that is what I did. I left the hospital, grew a massive chia pet on my face, and became a raging alcoholic. One week after that, I awoke to find my beard gone, my Mother in danger, and Peter alive. Yep. Good times…sort of…Now I’m off to find my Petey and bring him home. I’m prepared for it because coincidently, my hair has grown out like Superman’s and I now look the part.

Boy do I regret what I told Peter all those months ago. "Flying around, how is that gonna help anybody? What am I gonna do when I get there? I don't have a gun, I don't have a badge, I don't know karate. I guess I could put on a costume and fly around and pull cats out of trees.” Yep, I’m pretty much eating those words now.

THREAT: Time Traveling Japanese Office Worker!!!!

Hana Gitelman here, AKA Wireless, AKA Spoon Fed, AKA Babe in Leather! I may be dead, but I'm still devoted to bringing you the TRUTH!!!! I will give you the truth at all costs!!! $3.50/gallon...sure! Two for a dollar.....yes! One million dollars...hypothetically why not? And here is the newest TRUTH that I uncovered in my ghostly binary form!!!!!!!:

There's nothing more dangerous to you and me than greedy corporations! They steal your money! They give you diseases!!! They eat the people who feed you biscuits!!!!!

It's no wonder that a greedy corporation produced an evil-doer of super evil and villainous proportions!!! The company is named Yamagato Industries!!!! The evil time manipulator is the son of the former CEO who recently died in a mysterious death!! A MYSTERIOUS DEATH!!! If that's not proof of a conspiracy, I don't know what is! Nobody just falls off a building! I suspect foul play!!! I suspect low-carb dieting!!!!!

How did I come to find out about this man's time-traveling?????? Simple!! He contacted me from the future!!! A future that I helped prevent!!!! But he's still out there....not in the future, but in the present! My present! And he's in the present's past!!!!!

I broke into the mainframe - which is easy to do when you're a cyber-ghost! - of some Japanese laboratory and discovered a secret message hidden on scrolls hidden inside a secret sword!

Why is this baby evil? The TRUTH is in the sword!!!

The little Japanese man from the future who went to the present's past manipulated the space-time continuum! Some people say such a thing can't really happen. They want you to think that! They don't want you to question the manipulation they do on space-time!!! They can turn your grandmother into a pear just by squishing a mosquito! It's true!!!!

What did Hiro Nakamura do??? We don't know!!! But look at the effects it had on the baby!!! Just because his name is Hiro and he saved the world once doesn't make him a hero we can trust!! We can't trust anyone!!!!!!!

Nakamura is playing around with your very being!!!! He has total control over your life!!! And your garden!! If you don't have a garden, you may think you're safe....BUT YOU'RE NEVER SAFE!!!!

All he has to do is pee on the wrong tree, eat the wrong spoon or blow up the wrong Japanese army camp and history could change FOREVER!

Memories, The Cognitive Recollections of Past Happenings

What good are memories when they are all about the people who matter least to you?

Do I need to remember Niki being crazy to know that she is? Do I need to remember DL is dead to accept it? Do I need to remember that Venezuelan immigrants are prone to having deathly tears?

No. I wish I could remember how I ended up in this horrible relationship with an obese cop, and evil partnership with a mysterious copy salesman.

Four months have passed since our combined destinies made themselves known. What has transpired since? Who can say? The events of the past are a mystery to us all, even those who participated in it, who gave in to Destiny, agreeing to be her pawn on the chess board of Kirby Plaza.

Only God can truly say, that one omnipotent cockroach who controls the destiny of us all. It is his will which unfolds before our eyes. He unfolds it, incites our mind with his vision of reality, like a producer of a television series. We can curse him for our misfortunes, we can praise and worship his power, his insight, we can even beg him to do the right thing. But will he listen?

This very moment is constantly changing, being written by God the Cockroach as I breath, as I type. Only the past can truly be known to us, yet it is shrouded in mystery. Like a flashlight, our minds shine upon its shadow, but can only reveal a small portion, like a lone French fry in an order of onion rings. What can be gathered from this iota of memory, this small glimpse, lacking in context, of our past? And is it relevant?

At times, I find myself pondering DL's death, as though it has relevance. Was he killed, murdered, by a gunshot from Linderman? Was it that fateful meeting that brought his undoing? While that could be concluded from idle speculation, further examination, deeper digging into our mutual memories, will reveal he in fact died by a gunshot wound from a stranger. The end result is the same. So, one may wonder if such investigation is required. Does not either scenario end with a dead DL, one killed by a bullet, despite his phasing abilities? Could it be the only purpose such a memory has is to reveal a fact that is already all too well known: Niki is a psycho?

The little Japanese fellow, who claims his friend disappeared, did his memories disappear as well?

And what of myself? Of Noah Bennet? Of Matthew Parkman? Do I not posses memories of these three destinies? Has God chose not to bless me with the recollection of my own life? Of how I came to shacking up with a policeman who can read minds, but not books? And where are hte memories of Bennet's escape from Odessa, his eluding the company, and vile companionship with myself? Like the cockroach he is, God didn't make these memories part of his reality.

With such absences of memories, one can only assume The Haitian is at work here. Or perhaps God is on Haitian Pills.

I can hear the bells...

I've been hearing wedding bells in my sleep lately. Normally wedding bells mean that I wake up crying my gooey tar, seeing as my past experiences with weddings haven't gone too well. I know that it's wrong for someone as wretched as me to hope for love other than that of my brother, but I can't help myself. When he looks at me, my black tears don't fall. All is right in the world when we paint each other's fingernails and read magazines.

*Sigh* If only Alejandro were as agreeing. "I don't like this Sybriel," He said to me one night when Sybriel had wandered off. "He talks to me when he knows I don't understand him. Every now and then he points at me like he wants to cut off my head and eat my brain,"

"Silly brother. Why would Sybriel want to do that? He is an angel, a divine-"

"Yes, I know. A sign from God. But I don't think you are supposed to hit on signs from God,"

"He's my sign and I can do what I want with him!" I shouted. I imediatly clapped my hand over my mouth. "I'm sorry dear brother. I shouldn't have snapped. I see now that you are jelous of Sybriel and I. Like me and the whore. But don't think I have forgotten about you, as you did me!"

Then he mumbled something about avacados and rats and wandered away.

Now I sit alone, wondering what I will do about the two men in my life. What is Alejandro so upset about? Father had many wives! Back in our country it was accepted to take as many lovers as one wanted. At least, that's what father told me when I walked in on him and the woman from the hut next door. I was so upset at first, but then he told me about our family's wonderful agreement called poligamy. (When I asked mother, she shouted naughty words and stormed out of the house to talk to the milk man. "I'll show you poligamy!") Ah, but I digress. This is not about wonderful family memories of the past.

If only Alejandro would see that I love both of them! I will be dutiful to them both! I will not play favorites or make the other feel left out like the dirty whore who unleased my curse! (Only one dance Alejandro! That's all I got at that fatefull after party!) I will serve them juice boxes and ice cream sandwiches for breakfast when we wake up in the morning. We will eat them together in bed! And when the sun pokes through the curtains we will face the day and the border policia together. A beautiful threesome. Is that too much to ask? Goodness! I can't believe I even asked that! Woe is me! I will never be accepted by two such magnificent men! I can only cry at their feet, begging for scraps of mercy and love. WOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE!!! I am an awful selfish person! OOOOOOHHH WOE IS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! FORGIIIIIIIVE ME!!!!!

I am not as confused as Mama Petrelli

I now feel I can reveal what I have been hiding for weeks,please bear with me.

Mama Petrelli called me to the hospital 2 months ago and said Nathan had been hurt.
I hadn't seen Nathan for quite awhile,which is odd even for him. I almost flew to his bedside in order to find out what happened. Good or bad,he is still my husband! The one true love of my life and the father of my children.

He seemed so vulnerable amidst all the tubes and sterile instruments about the room. He was in such physical pain with his skin all burned away.
"Honey,I need to talk to you, the truth needs to come out." Tears shimmered about his eyes. It was so beautiful that I almost cried.
"What happened, why are you here?" I cried out.
"I can fly, that is why you lost your legs!"

What would Ugly Betty do if this happened to her? What would Betty say, I wondered.
"Honey, I can get you help. No matter what has happened, the boys and I love you." I assure him.
He then launched into the oddest story about DNA,Peter and some guy named Sylar. My brain reeled,yet somehow it made sense.
He and I sobbed for the longest time and I let go of my anger about the loss
of my legs.
"I love you so much Heidi,I hurt you so much and I am going to make up for it." I hugged him to me and he shooks with sobs.
"We can get through this."

I went out to get some coffee and also to touch up my Christian Dior Addict(tm)lipcolor.
This is when the disturbing part happened:


"I have something to tell you Heidi."
As if things were not bad enough, Mama has to get all soap opera on me. I
stayed cool and calm though.
"He told me everything."
She then went on to tell me that Nathan is mentally ill! As if I didn't know she and Nathan used that on Peter! Peter of the perfect jawline and limpid dark eyes.
PETER!
I digress,the old bat seemed to think she was really making me buy into this.
Hello,I saw Nathan fly into the air before the car crashed,I regained the use of my legs when Linderman touched me and I know a lie when I see it!

"I think it must be the painpills they are giving him." I lied.

Then, and I swear to you this is true.
MAMA PETRELLI MADE A PASS AT ME!
They were not good touches or comforting ones. They were ugh,it was just
something I will seek therapy for.
I had to swallow my bile as she ran her hands down my beautiful blue top which sets off my dark hair.

EWWWWWWWWW!
I don't know about DNA, I think it is hormones that cause the Petrelli's to act the way they do.
Please pray for Nathan and for out family. I feel closer to my husband than I ever have before.
Yes, you might ask about why I left Nathan. It was because I was creeped out by Mama and that beard. Not HER beard,though hers is scary also *lol*
It was because I found out Peter was alive and I told him. Yet he went along with Mama on the whole 'Grief tour USA'
How was I supposed to trust Nathan when he is so close to that woman who gave birth to him?
I can't even think about the fact these Superhero powers might be passed onto Monty and Simon.
I love you Nathan! Come home soon!
Just leave your Mama in a home or something.:P

A Spot of Tea and Waffles

Hello all. I must say it is an honor to be posting here where so many…talented people have come to congregate. The last time I belonged to such a group, we made such leaps, such progress! But they betrayed me. They couldn’t stand growing old and decrepit while my youthful exterior shone out in a display of European charm. Also, I was growing mad with power. So they locked me up and threw away the key.

Looking back, I suppose it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. I’m no stranger to betrayal. Through the years, I’ve found that it’s only a matter of time before Mittens goes away to live on that farm, Asian men with dorky glasses steal your girlfriend, your mother cons you out of half your savings. Life is about being stabbed in the back, it would seem.

But I’m not bitter. No, I’m not bitter. Because with the help of my new friend Peter, all that is going to change. Pete’s my new partner now, and not only are we a dream team, we are coolio, fabulous…how else do young people say cool these days? Rad? Anyway, the other day Pete and I were playing Yahtzee in between saving the world, and I was put in mind of my own mind-numbing boredom before Peter entered the cell next door to my own. I was so glad to have some one else to play the cookie-jar game with, you have no idea how old it gets when you’ve only got yourself to talk to. I tried asking Elle once, but she’s never eaten cookies before, and also she’s a sadist. So of course it was down to Peter, and he didn’t disappoint. At the moment, though, he keeps crying about leaving some Irish chick a year in the future, and how he used to have great hair. Pete’s a bit of a downer at times, but like me, he is misunderstood, and like me, he looks good in black. And I need him for my plan, so it all works out.

I’m quite put out by the attempt at my indefinite incarceration, you see. How long had I been in that Company holding cell? It feels like a century. Then again, I’ve lived through four of those. The world has changed so much already, I have to catch up quickly. I mean, now they have blogging? iPods? I can’t even buy my favorite brand of shirts in the U.S. anymore, apparently I have to go to Italy.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, now I’m back. In black. And I have been busy! I’ve been re-establishing old contacts, killing off old Company members, getting my hair done. Soon, it will all pay off, and everything will be different.

For one thing, there will be waffles for everyone.

My new start.

So, for a while there I was all full of enthusiasm and excitement for my 'new life' as a single woman sans motherhood...then I went and injected myself with this killer virus and well, I'm getting rather mopey. I had so many dreams and aspirations! I want to be the girl who went from webcam show stripper to Vegas showgirl! Now...it's all down the drain.

My husband died oh-so-tragically...but I'm not supposed to talk about that. I pinky promised Bob I'd "move on" and keep on trucking for my little man, Micah. I dumped Micah off on some relatives of DL I met once at a BBQ nine years ago. I ended up getting really drunk and wound up...nevermind. It's a long story. So anyway, Micah is doing all fine and dandy with his cousins and...aunt/great grandma twice removed/whatever the heck she is. Though the obsession he's developing over his cousin is starting to freak me out.


In good news, I'm enjoying my new job! I work for...this Company. Let's just say I do a little bit of human resources meets bounty hunter woman on steroids. I have a partner and everything! Actually he's not so much a partner as I basically have to babysit him. Half the time he just sits himself down, looks off into the distance and questions human existence. Then I have to slap him in the back of the head and get him to snap back to reality.


Then the other day, I find out I'll be working with my good friend/fellow AA member, Nathan Petrelli. It was as if we had never stopped...talking. As if he didn't hang up on me countless times and not return my messages. We even coordinated our shirt collars (see photo) after we...talked. Isn't that cute? I think he should be my partner honestly because I'm sure his parter, Matt Parkman would much rather roll around on the floor with mine.

So, Nate (he lets me call him Nate, see how close we are?) was prying info from Bob and Matt's daddy got in my head and planted images of my dead husband in there. Which honestly if you are trying to pick up hot guys is a real bummer. Anyway, I went after Bob with the virus and in my quick thinking, stabbed myself to save Nate's ruggedly handsome face. I could not stab at that jaw, it is too perfect, to injure it in anyway would be a crime against humanity. He did lovingly stroke my face in appreciation. It's nice to not be called a murderous witch when I break down doors and instead be told I'm strong. I was told other things later but let's keep those behind closed doors, shall we? I already have some crazy chick named Heidi leaving me threatening messages.

Well, I have to go for now. I promised Nate we'd have a 'meeting' to discuss things a little further. I have to find that cheerleader girl from Kirby Plaza in order to live. I don't even think that girl knows her own name...lucky me. *sigh*

I'll write again soon, as long as I'm not dead.

Family Troubles

It's a tough life being a Family Man. Claire and I used to be so close. We did crosswords together. We roasted smores together. We even took our picture together outside of a church. Nothing says family bonding like a church photo. I don't know what went wrong.

It's like something came into her life, like a virus. At first, I blamed cheerleading. It had to have been cheerleading, I thought. All that jumping around for no reason. There's no order there. It's just mad chaos idolized by adoring pubescent boys and a handful of awkward girls.

But after my trip to the Ukriane, I found out the truth. It was something far worse than cheerleading: a boy. Yes, one little snot-nosed brat infiltrated this family and destroyed everything. If only Claire had been as ugly and strange as Luke, we wouldn't have to worry about idiotic, immature lust screwing up my brilliant plans. Or is his name Lyle? Wait, no...Loyd. That's it.

I arrived home to find my little Claire Bear standing outside with two Popsicles. She claimed the second was for me, or at least implied it. However, I knew she was hiding something. I just thought she was having a tea party out on the patio with her imaginary boyfriend. I'm fine with her dating imaginary boys.

However, Sandra impaled me with the truth. She admitted to me that Claire was dating. The trouble had started long ago, its affects already in the local news.

"Claire, you fool!" I said, "How could you be so immature!"

"I'm, like, fifteen, Dad. Gah!"

"It doesn't matter. When you live under my roof, you obey my ridiculously strict codes of conduct! Have you forgotten we live with the fear of imminent and spontaneous death lurking over us?"

"No, duh, Dad. I'm not stupid."

"Then you should realize that in a time when for no rational reason we could all be murdered, or worse, at any moment without warning, the sensible thing to do is give complete and total control to the man in charge, that would be me, and do anything I ask, precisely how I ask it without thinking it over for yourself."

"Gah! This is sooooooo lame."

I don't see what's so hard to understand. I mean, it makes perfect sense. Efficiency is key. It's like being trapped in a room with two beer-drinking Velociraptors, with only a shield and a sword. If your true love walks in the room, do you go give them a hug? No. You let them draw the Velociraptors away and hope you can slice 'em up before they rip out your love's jugular. If you're hungry, do you get up for a snack? No! You do that, and you're the snack. The point is you are alive when they start to eat you.

You have to let the situation control you, let it push you into limited actions. Only then will you have the best chance of staying alive. You can't just go around doing whatever you feel like doing at the moment. You're not the Dali Lama. You have to keep your eyes on the moments to come. If you don't, you'll be a dead llama.

Poisoned Waffles

I don't know how much time I have here. Father is trying to gather up some boxes. I was able hide the lap top in Claire's closet. Her closet smells like lemons. Where does she get that lemon scent anyway? There's no Glade plug ins anywhere. And I haven't seen a lemon since moving to California. Wait a minute, I need to get back to this post. Who would have thought a simple act as making waffles could turn this family upside down?

It all started early this morning. Father has been away at some "function", sure to have included murder of some sort. He is probably hanging out with that creepy, but hot and well-dressed Haitian. I never expected a foreigner to have such elegant taste in clothing. If he wasn't a common peon, I could see myself befriending him.

I was lying in my Designer Rhino Wicker Pet Bed when I awoke to Mother's voice. I heard her say, "She would very much like that".

I assumed she was on the phone with Father talking about some new souvenir he bought Claire. He always brings her back something nice, but for some reason never gets Lyle or me anything! Then I heard a voice saying, "Thank you very much, Mrs. Butler".

I recognized that voiced right away; it was Claire's Stalker!...I mean boyfriend, West! I trotted into the kitchen to see what was up. Mother was chatting up Stalker Boy. He infiltrated our home and our family! It was a good thing Father wasn't home or Stalker Boy would have a bullet up his nose. Though he has no fashion sense, sometimes I find he's quite smarter than Mother. Don't get me wrong, I love Mother, but she is too nice and trusting. I still haven't forgotten the time she let that serial killer in our old house; she even let him touch me!

Stalker Boy saw me and started to walk towards me. I did what any sensible being would do, I growled at him.

"Oh, knock it off Mr. Muggles. This is West. He is a good boy, just like you. Yes, you're a good booooy, yes you are!"

Out of respect for Mother, I did stop and let the weirdo pet me. OK, I will admit, I rather enjoyed the attention.

He handed me a piece of the waffles he had made. It was scrumptious. After I got my fill, I decided to go back to bed in my Designer Rhino Wicker Pet Bed.

The next thing I remember is Father yelling at Claire about her Stalker. Claire was threatening to run away. Mother was yelling at Father. Lyle crying up in his room like a baby. And now there are footsteps coming up the stairs. Oh no! Better go.

WHAT?!

So this what it feels like. I think my Stalker/BF broke up with me. All because my daddy is the one who abducted him all those years ago, did weird things to him, then wiped his memory and I didn't tell him about it. Hello? How is that my fault? I'm not the morally grey one here! Who's idea was it to emotionally scar the drunk cheerleader? OMG. The last time I had a BF I was the one who ended it. Sort of. Does smashing his car while he's in it count as breaking up?

So now Daddy says we have to move. Personally, I don't give a crap. The only people here who pay attention to me are West (Who knows where he is now), the weird cheerleader who pops up just about everywhere, and Debbie (Now suspended). But its the point. Daddy was all "You jepordized our safety," and I'm like "No, I didn't," and he's all "Well we're moving because I'm the boss and I hate my job," So I threw one of my cheerleader temper-tantrums and told him to move without me. I really haven't worked out what I'll do when they leave though. I can't bunk with West cause he went AWOL and now he'd probably kill me in my sleep anyway. That weird cheerleader wigs me out too. Maybe I'll live in a box near the school. If my Bio-Family hadn't completely fallen apart, I might have tried to find them but with Unce Peter missing and Bio-dad missing his AA meetings, I think I'd be better off in the box. I'll put up a little sign saying that I'm there for moral reasons and put some little pots of flowers on top. Take that, all of you. Stupid robots. West... *sniffle*

Beer, Brooding, and Old Movies

Well Claude wasn't too happy to see me at the bar again, but he relaxed a bit when I told him that I'd had the bartender open the one bottle of beer in front of me.

"How many?" he asked skeptically.

"Just the one. And I won this," I said and showed Claude the $500,000.00 worth of chips. I expected a smart remark, I'm kinda getting used to them, but I got a quiet smile instead. Then Claude was serious again.

"I still can't reach Ivan," he said. He didn't look happy at all.

I finished the beer, oddly enough Claude didn't want any but he still insisted on escorting me as I cashed out and went back to our rooms. I understand the concern about Ivan being incommunicado (and the debt Claude no doubt wants to collect on) but really, all that fuss over just one beer, gee whiz, you'd have thought I was drunk or something...

Anyway, after that, Claude went out again and told me to stay put. The big win entitled us to complimentary on demand, so I decided to use it and I watched the other Claude Rains in The Invisible Man (1933). Good film, even if my favorite invisible man wasn't actually in it.