You want me to wear what?

After breakfast this morning, Rebecca and Trisha wanted to go check out the rest of Midland. It's not a very large city. New York is gargantuan compared to this place. But that's beside the point. I gathered up all my photon friends, and together we all happily bounced out of the diner. We called information and got a taxi to come pick us out in the middle of nowhere, and it cost us an arm and a leg to get into town. The two of them heard that there was a Betsey Johnson boutique somewhere in Midland that they wanted to take a gander at.

I thought it was interesting that there was a Betsey Johnson boutique in Texas, let alone in Midland. It's not exactly an apex of cultural...yeah, exactly. I know that she used to own a few boutiques in New York, but they came WAY before my time.

We found the boutique. They had some new designs and some older designs. Trisha wanted me to try on a pink tutu. WHAT. I just ate like twelve waffles and you want me to wear that? I wouldn't be caught dead in a tutu. So I distracted her with flashing glittery lights. Trisha is easily distracted by flashy, shiny objects. That's why she's not allowed to wear any jewelry on stage. She'll forget her lines the second she sees something shiny. I blame it on her being a blonde. The two of them tried on a few outfits. I was more than content to look around but not put anything on. Silver miniskirts -- okay, maybe I'd wear one of those if I had the right pair of colored tites. I like bright colors.

Every time one of them came out of the dressing room, they'd have me change the lighting in front of the mirror to make them look less fat. Oh, please. If anyone has to worry about looking fat here, it's me. And white light is so boring. At least I know how to change the vibrations of photons enough to change their colors. But I think the strobe light effect I was creating for one of Trisha's outfits may have been a bit much since one of the salespeople started shaking and convulsing on the floor. Oops. Phear my strobolitic powers! I can make you have seizures!

After a few hours of the two of them trying on every outfit that the boutique had to offer, we called up another cab and had it drive us back to the motel.

Ty kept bothering me when the desklamp died in his room. He needed to go over a few blocking issues in the script and kept calling me over to be a nightlight. Or a booklight. Or just a general source of luminescent inspiration. Ever get the feeling that people are just using you for something? Yeeeah.

~Lana

xcape attempt #3!

hey guyz i think this time im gettin outta here 4 realz! its xcape from alcatraz and im like clint eastwood xcept not old and icky lol!

my first xcape attempt wuz my best try i almost got out that time and got to kill sum1 which is alwayz fun! my second xcape didnt turn out so well ending in me getting shutoed by a primatech ninja.

but this time is 4 real! ive perfected the technique of making my heart stop! i used to do it in hs so people would think i wuz dead and id get some attention lol. actually i guess it never worked 2 good since no 1 seemed to care but if i did it in a public place sometimes peeps would call the ambulance who would give me sum attention! but newayz the point is i can stop my heart!

omg so i pulled this lil trick of mine again and fooled poor unsuspecting dr man and he thought i died n unstrapped me. so i woke up! and i decided not to use physical attacks, since that pretty much consists of slapping and biting so instead i FINALLY got to use my super mind trick again! i pushed poor lil dr, like all the football playerz used to push poor lil gabriel! xcept they used their sexy hands while i used my darth vadar power!

so newayz i had my fun with him lol. i ended up throwing him on a table and covering him up. i think im gonna trick mr glasses into falling into a trap. i can be clever like that. if i cant have mr glasses, no one will lol!

so now i just sit here and wait for mr glasses to show his pretty face 1 more time. it wont be so pretty when im done with it lol but ill get to see it once more! and at least i have this laptop to use while i wait for him. i feel like it may be a while before i see him, like a week maybe, i wunder y i have that feeling? oh well, ill keep myself occupied, and then ILL KILL MR GLASSES! hehehehehehehehehe!

My Father's Waffles

My Father.

As I speak the words I still mourn his death. Is it not man's very nature to mourn what it can no longer have in this life? One does not miss what they have. How can anyone? To have is to not need. And it is in need that we find the true essence of mankind.

My Father.

He had some crazy theories, this is true. However, when he stepped into the kitchen, he could create some delightfully tasty waffles. How is it that a man could ever make such a delicious meal? A taste of Heaven, no doubt. Should Heaven exist, and after eating my father's waffles, you would have surely affirmed that it did within your own heart.

And now he is gone. And with him, his waffles. For a man who makes waffles cannot make waffles from beyond this life. It is the sad providence of the departed to go waffle-less through eternity, as those they leave behind go without them through life.

I find myself greatly desiring waffles. Inside of me there is an urge, a craving, to encapsulate the delicacy and savor the emptiness of every sprocket, the firmness of every cog. Why then must the urge, the hunger, go unfulfilled? Is it simpley that my destiny has another food choice in mind? Or could it be that I have had my fair share of waffles already?

Perhaps then it is that life, that destiny, rations out its portions of happiness, of splendor. Once that share has been devoured, then is there more? Or are we left wanting. Wanting what we know we can no longer have.

I came to this diner expecting to fulfill my hunger. Yet the taste, the consequence for my desire of the non-existent, is bitter. Bitter as ink from a crazed octopus.

It seems the best fulfillment I can find today, the most gratification, is here on this very blog. I can express my feelings, my inside thingies, to the masses, as though that somehow makes up for my lack of wonder-waffles.

Waffles Make the Pain Go Away

Oh, Burnt Toast waffles! Sometimes I feel like you're my only true friend. And you certainly are a tasty one.

It's true. I eat when I'm depressed. The teenage version of myself was an obese loser. Once I finally accepted that, I was able to fix it.

The cycle was endless. Kids would pick on me because of my hair, my glasses, my weight and even my Beatles obsession (Apparently, it's only cool for the popular kids to sing Ob La Di, Ob La Da during recess). After all their hurtful words and actions, I would run home. My mom would make me waffles ala mode. Do I blame her for my terrible childhood? Yes. But luckily, I was able to get through it.

Now, I'm here, eating waffles to relieve the pain, once again. All because of Phillip Martin.

He was the worst of the worst. Once, he put mustard on the playground slide before I slid down. He harassed me from age 7 to age 16, when he suddenly disappeared. Until now.

He was startled when he saw me. So startled in fact, he spilled mustard everywhere. (I'm not sure what he was doing with the mustard.)

This was the man that, in 7th grade alone, gave me 108 wedgies. He constantly teased me about my weight. And of course, he was the star football player. He wasn't a quarterback, he lacked the youthful charm and gay-looking charisma for that. But he was a fast receiver. Every victory usually had him to thank for it.

And now he's a fat slob.

ME: Hey, Phillip. Why are you in my mustard?

PHIL: Uh...oh, it's your mustard? I just came down to the snack room to grab a bite. Making paper works up an appetite.

ME: You work here?

PHIL: Just started today.

ME: Oh, how interesting. So I guess that makes me the boss of you.

PHIL: Yeah, I guess it does.

ME: Well, keep up the good work, fatty.

PHIL: You too.

I was feeling great. My childhood nemesis has become my employee. He is now the overweight loser. And I am his boss. What made it even more wonderful was the fact that he fell so low. For me, I went from the bottom to the top. But he had to feel the sting of failure after a lifetime of success. He now knows what's it's like to be made a fool of. I trumphantly walked back to my office. I was indeed feeling great. Until I sat down.

Wind it Up

Sorry for the title. Lyle been playing this song for a few doggie days straight. I hear it so much, it in my little head during my beauty sleep. I should destroy something of his because of this.

The Bennet house hold been very somber. Claire just sit around her room reading some book. For some reason, she hides the book under bed. I don't understand why she is hiding it. I am going to try to check out the book next time I am all alone in the house.

Mommy has scheduled me a day of pampering. First she takes me to get my fur cleaned. Then she takes me shopping for a new collar. She better buy me a nice simple collar. She likes to bling out my collar. The last bling collar she gave me, It took me a couple days to destroy it. I don't mind wearing them during show but not at home. It looks a bit girly for me. Sylar, you might like it though. Maybe you can design a collar for my next show.

This is the key that makes up wind up. Oh lord, Lyle just started playing that song again. Time to go hump it and maybe he will get the point.

What's a Sylar?

What's a Sylar? Why would somebody call himself Sylar? It sounds like the name of a watch! HAHAHAHAHA!!! People think Sylar is some super powerful serial killer, eating human brains, and stuff. I eat brain-eaters for breakfast, HAHAHAHAHA! I'm going to eat Sylar like barbeque chicken wings! I'm also going to dump ketchup and mustard on Sylar, he will make my stomach very happy.

Hiro said that he saw my dead body with my skull cut off and my brain missing in the future. That doesn't matter to me, Sylar can't touch me. I can use my karate skills to knock him out, he will be out cold in no time.

Sylar doesn't scare me, Sylar is a n00b.

Look I'm going to make fun of Sylar! HAHAHA!

Now I've Seen Everything.

Ty admitted to eating my waffles. For that reason alone, I will be controlling his laptop until I feel like giving it back to him. A good rule to live by in life is to never take food away from a fat person, especially a fat woman, because I will cause you bodily harm. People seem to forget that I can sit on them and make them feel very uncomfortable and unable to breathe.

In the midst of ordering me a new plate of waffles, Ty also pointed out to me that this diner had a blog... which I'm obviously posting on now. I guess everything is digitized. It seems like everyone has a myspace or a blog or something. Reading over some of the entries here -- God, I need to get out of Texas fast. And here I thought that NY was the city full of all the nuts.

So I was messing around with the lighting in the diner. Playing with photons is fun. But I think the otherworldly corona I created and perched over my head like a halo may have freaked some people out because they all started gathering around me and praying. Look, people, just because I'm trying to make a fashion statement is no reason to worship me. Not that I mind being worshipped. It makes me feel important and makes my ego a little more bloated. Also, doing light tricks is fun. I was aiming for the full body corona thing, but I since I didn't really feel like being the Virgin of Guadalupe for a day, I had to tone it down just a wee bit. After all, I don't want people to think I'm completely crazy. I work with actors. I have to be crazy, yes, but sane enough to assuage them and let them know that everything is going to be just fine.

I like Christmas. And raves. And anything with bright flashing lights. I used to make the lights on ambulances flash red and green since I thought it made them look more festive. The drivers didn't like that much. It would also really perplex the cops when they'd pull me over and all of a sudden their red and blue lights would turn purple and pink. Because I like purple and pink. And how can you possibly write someone a ticket when you're being bathed in happy bright purple and pink lights? You can't, because you'd feel like a jerk. It's harder to use that trick with cops on horseback. I still haven't mastered how to deal with them. Not that I have any outstanding tickets or anything. I don't. Honest.

Okay, so I have two that still need to be paid. I don't drive. I get distracted by all the traffic lights.

Oh, wait -- waffles here. Must eat.

~Lana

This is nice...

I’m feeling really really good right now. So calm, it’s hard to keep typing. That doctor was so nice to give me that shot, I feel like I could floooat away! I shouldn’t have broken him arms, that wasn’t very nice of me, or her, or us.

Why didn’t they give me this earlier? I feel so nice and I can’t feel that silly sister of mine either! Maybe she floated away! Up up up! And to think I thought this was such a bad place! My cell is so soft and cozy! Like a house! A really really small house! I like to rub up against the walls and purr like a kitty, AND, if I look at the ceiling long enough, the white bumps disappear and my sheep friends come and visit me. If I shake my head really hard, I can make them jump!

Micah use to like sheep. I remember that book he had about those sheep that wanted to eat the greener grass on the other side of the bridge, but there was a tree or a troll or something like that. Now that I think about it, we ARE those sheep! All D.L, Micah, and I wanted was to eat the greener grass! But Mr. Lindy was the troll!

What did they do to him again? I can’t remember, but it’s nice to relate to the sheep, they’re good friends. Next time Micah comes to see me I’ll ask him. Speaking of grass, I talked to my lawyer the other day. He told me something important…hmm…something about a penalty? I don’t remember that either, it probably wasn’t that important anyway.

Yesterday this one nice doctor (one I haven’t hit yet) brought me a black marker and some paper. I was happy to have something to do. He told me to draw what I felt, and said it would help him get to know me better. So I drew this!

He said I have anxiously about leaving Micah all alone, probably caused by
whatever that lawyer said about a penalty. I like my picture, I don’t see what’s wrong with it . Well, at least I’m not worried now! I hope that nice doctor comes again with his cute little syringe!

Waffles, Waffles, and more Waffles

Greetings all,

I have returned to this tasty place. The last few days have been stressful. Mommy has not been taking it too well. She is a stress eater. Today, she has been craving waffles. I wish I could tell her that she didn't need to eat those waffles. In the last month, her clothing has gotten so tight. She blames the washer while eating some cupcakes. Maybe if I ruin her clothes, she might get the idea.

You may have heard that my sister Claire won homecoming queen. Her first duty was to punch out her former BBF (Best B*tch Friend). Mommy was at home eating cookies when the school called. The High School does't allow little being on campus, so I missed out in all the fun. If I was able to go, I would have bitten the principal. When they got home, Father forbade Claire to go the homecoming game. I couldn't hear what was being said because I was too busy barking at the obese mailman. How dare he trespass on my property!

Claire was upset about not being able to go the homecoming game. She ran up the stairs and slamed her door. Then Mommy and Father got into a disagreement about Homecoming. Mommy was saying that she was a good teen ( roll eyes there) and she should have the moment to shine. Meanwhile Hitler ...oops...Father was not allowing her to go. He was saying something about her needing to be punished for what she did to Jackie. I was on Mommy's side on this one. Football games are beneath me but if I can bark and annoy just one stupid teenager, then it is worth it. Also Jackie needed to be punched. She was never nice to me at all. She would call me little spawn. I think she was the real spawn.

Later on that evening, I heard rocks hitting the window. I am thinking "Oh great, homeless people have now taken over the neighborhood. I went to investgate the noise all ready to bark them out of our yard. Turns out it was just Zack. I like Zack. He pets me and feeds me scraps of real good food. I walked right up to the door and tried to listen in on them. I heard the window opening and Zack's femine voice. He was telling her some "be true to yourself" garbage. Next thing I hear is them leaving out the window. I gave them about five minates and then I went down stairs barking to Father that Claire left. After a few minutes, he and Mommy got the point. Father said he would go to the High School. It sounded like Claire was going to get a beating!

A couple hours passed and Father called. He told Mommy to meet him at the hospital. Mommy then started to have a nervous breakdown. That was the second time Claire has been to the ER. The first time is when she got into a wreak with her stupid ex. I could not accompany Mommy due to rules about not allowing small beings into the ER. After Mommy left, I slept on the couch.

All of them came home about 2 in the morning. They all woke me from my wonderful sleep by turning on all the lights in the living room. From what I could make out, Some pyshco killed Jackie at the Homecoming game. Jackie probbly told the guy to get lost and he attacked her. Claire was with Jackie when she died. She didn't get hurt at all but she was all bloody from it. She and Father had to talk to the police about it all.

But Mommmy and I got to come eat waffles. Not that she needs any more food in her body. But like I said, she's a stress eater. Too bad she can't learn to control her animal urges like me.

i feel pretty!

so mr glasses is starting to be a lil nicer to me. he talks to me, u know, and takes notes. he wuz even on the brink of opening up to me! and just yesterday he took me on a trip to get my nails done and i did and they looked like amazing! then he made me wear a suit, wich i didnt really like, but i spent my time looking @ my nails (and eating kiddie brainz here and there).

the other day he said i could do anything, anything i wanted, so i told him i wanted to put on a play of west side story! i didnt expect mr glasses to say yes but he did, and i was like omg! i always wanted 2 be in that play in hs 2 play maria, but i didnt get the part. i even auditioned in disguise as syndy, but i still didn't get it even tho they totally thought i was a grl! oh well i still got to be one of the pretty dancers on the rooftop for america! look here i am.



i want 2 be in america
ok by me in america
everythings free in america
for a small fee in amerrrrica!

lol arent i great! so anyways, 2day we got to do it and i like FINALLY got 2 play maria. i looked hot! good thing i killed that girl eden or she may have taken the part from me lol! but there were no worries, cuz she was dead. there was this guy named rufus, he played tony. he wuz kinda nasty, but it was ok, at least i got sum action!

mr glasses was the cop officer krupke. hes like always on a power trip lol even in my stage plays! the scury haitian man wuz bernardo. he didnt play a very good shark cuz he didnt talk. all our scenes together were like VERY awkward.



But I love Tony!






....






Stop yelling at me Bernardo, you can't stop our love for each other!





....



neways i got to sing 'i feel pretty' and i really did! everyone wuz real happy for me, i could tell, especially when i had my big moment during that song!

i feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty and witty and brite! lol i don't no about those last 2 but i was def very pretty. the scury haitian man wuz smiling at me agin in my dress, altho he wuz more smiling at my generated cleavage, omg! but neways, id say the play wuz a success! every1 seemed to have a good time even mr glasses! he wuz taking notes by the end tho. gosh y does he have to be such a nerd, he culd be so hott!

neways, ill be out of this place soon mark my words! all this dress making and musicals have been real fun, but i sure do miss my brain eating! ttyl!

Brody's Football Picks

It's Championship Sunday. After today we will know who is playing in the Super Bowl. I can't wait for it to be me one day. I'm not the starting quarterback of the High School team for nothing. I got all the confidence and the ability to make it to the pros and one day win a Super Bowl myself. Right now it's all about making some money off of these teams.

Me and my bro's are betting on the games and I'm supposed to meet up with them at the Burnt Toast Diner this morning for breakfast. I usually get some French Toast with bacon and sausage on the side. The food there is better then what they serve in our Cafeteria at school but it's not much better. I just know that the food will be tasty when it goes along with all the money I'm going to make betting on these game.

The bookie is going to meet me and my friends at the Diner so we can place our bets.
I can't wait to collect so I can have some money to try and get some Freshman Cheerleaders to strip for us at the kegger. Those are just a few examples of the connections that come with being as popular as I am.
We are putting all our money on Indy to beat the Patriots and Chicago to beat the Saints. On the AFC side I just don't think the Patriots have the talent to stop Indy anymore. Peyton Manning should have a good game at home and since the Patriots basically have no one that can cover Marvin Harrison or Reggie Wayne, I don't see how the Patriots will win. The Indianapolis Colts should win easily.
On the NFC side I'm going with the Chicago Bears. It's going to be too cold for the Saints to run their offense the way they want to and the Bears defense will play well enough to keep the score down. My money is on the Bears but this will be a close game.

Yeah, after we win this money I'll be able to impress some more cheerleaders and other honey's at school. I guess I really do have a thing for cheerleaders. They can be so hot sometimes. Especially if they turn out to be doing some freaky lesbian activity in a bathroom stall like these girls.

Carolina Panther Cheerleaders

I've been making my way through most of the cheerleaders at school and it looks like it is going to be Claire Bennet's lucky day when I decide to ask her out. She's looking kind of hot these days. I feel like I've been out with her before but it's hard to remember....

Coffee and a Muffin on my way out...

When my Dad was living here in America, he said he had a business associate (business associate? How does that happen to a geneticist?) who lived in Texas, and apparently, he'd come get coffee and a bite to eat while he was visiting the guy. Pops talked about this place all the time, he'd call Mom and me up and rave about the place, telling us about the sweet young redheaded waitress he met there, called her a Human Google, saying something about her having wonderful memory. I don't know. Anyway, he told me if I ever came to the US to go eat at this place, so here I am, after this, I'll be back on my way to India. This place isn't really crowded, I'm one of the few people in here, besides a skinny Japanese guy, a Dog, and an old guy who looks like he might be a Hobo, so I guess I'll just eat and go.

Hmm...that's strange, someones calling me on my cell-phone, who the heck would be doing that? Let me check my Caller ID...oh, don't worry, it's just Uncle Kamarjith calling me for the third time today, I'll just let it go to Voicemail. Anyway, Father's funeral is all planned, it'll be near the ocean, the whole family is coming, even Cousin Mario (don't ask, he inspired the looks of Super Mario, in the video game arcades) from Italy is coming! I am going to miss Eden, I think I may actually feel something similar to love for her, Mira or no, Eden's more likeable, I think. I can't wait to see Mom, though, it's amazing, no matter how old one gets, one never completely stops needing their mother, it seems to be a way of life. Mothers are an essential in the formation of a complete human being, and that isn't limited to the physical anatomy of a person, a child is most likely to inherit traits and possibly behavior from their mother, if you take away the mother, a child may grow up confused, broken, angry, or a number of other such things. Mothers are simply the epitome of loving, caring, generous and giving maternal beings, there's no question about it!! Oh, hold on a minute, the waitress is here...

Okay, I've ordered a medium espresso and a Banana-nut muffin, my favorite kind of muffin, it's soft from the muffin, but crunchy from the nuts...YUM!! Whoa, alright, the Hobo is singing and "rocking out", as the American teenagers say, to "The Way You Make Me Feel" by Michael Jackson, it's on the radio right now. I don't know. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, the funeral, of course. Dismal business, putting your father to rest, it's almost more than I can bear, though I would never show it. I haven't yet cried, but I've read that it's normal to be in a state of shock when a loved one dies, so that may be what I'm experiencing now.

So, I don't know what I'm going to do after the funeral, I may come back, or maybe I'll just stay in India, I haven't decided for sure, yet. Something tells me I've got unfinished business here, it's just a feeling I have, that, or I'm hot for Eden. I don't know. Maybe I'm just being angsty and melodramatic, it wouldn't be the first time. I guess I'll see how I feel after a night in the club.

Oh, coffee and muffin's here, I'll go now, then I'll finish the food and be on my way.

M. Suresh

Interrogation of a Murderer

Sylar killed Eden. I blame myself. I was actually here at the diner when it happened. The coffee was great that day. Everything was great that day. Until I got back to work.

Rufus called me, right after I finished my coffee and blog post.
RUFUS: Mr. Bennet. The silent alarms just went off.

ME: They're not silent, Rufus.

RUFUS: Oh. I guess that's why I can hear them.

ME: What's going on?

RUFUS: I don't know. It sounded scary, and I heard a gun shot. So me and Alex are hiding behind my desk.

ME: I'll be there.

The Haitian and I arrived in time to subdue Sylar. The time for games was over.

After the sedatives wore off, he awoke tied down to a chair. The Haitian and I were with him. It was my chance to get answers.

ME: You're going to tell me everything, Gabriel.

SYLAR: No!

ME: Yes.

SYLAR: No!

ME: Yes.

SYLAR: Yes!

ME: No.

SYLAR: Alright, you win, Mr. Glasses...or can I call you Horn?

ME: Why do you eat brains, Gabriel?

SYLAR: Um, I don't know. I think it's because I like, want to be special, or something. Well, that's how it started. Now, having eaten so many, they're just so tastey! It's like people who are addicted to, like, you know, Starbucks lattes! Only I'm addicted to brains! They taste so good. And sometimes they give me special powers!

ME: I see. And who was your first victim?

SYLAR: Some nerdy guy named Brian Davis. He's where I got my super mind trick from! I didn't really, you know, know what I was doing? But my friend Chandy helped teach me some things, so I figured I'd try them!

ME: Go on.

SYLAR: It was kind of icky the first time because I didn't have my mind trick, so I got brain goop all over my dainty hands, and I didn't like that! But Chandy had told me, "Gabriel, if you, like, want to be special, you'll like, have to eat some brains." So I held my breathe and plugged my nose and took a big bite! It was SOOOO gross and I almost puked all over the place right after the first bite but I kept going. I finally finished it and I had my mind trick, so I guess it was kind of worth it, you know? But now, I've eaten so many of those brains I don't have problems like that anymore, especially since the brain juice doesn't get all over me!

ME: Did you enjoy your childhood?

SYLAR: Oh my gosh, no! My dad had like this big master plan for me to be a watchmaker, and I helped him in his shop all the time! But I didn't want to be a watchmaker, I wanted to be special! I wanted to be so special that everyday was treated like my super sweet sixteen! But it wasn't!

ME: You felt angry.

SYLAR: Yes! And my dad was only the beginning of my problems.

ME: It's okay, Gabriel. You can tell me all about it.

SYLAR: All the people in school used to make fun of me! They thought I was a loser because I was a watchmaker's son! And some times I wore lipstick to school. And this other time I tried on a cheerleader's uniform in the girls' locker room. And another time I tried to make out with the star football player. I don't think they liked me too much because of those things.

ME: And what's your goal now that you have been eating all these brains?

SYLAR: To be special! I was never popular because I wasn't special. I want people to love me. And now I am special because I can like, you know, chop off people's heads with my mind. So I'm gonna keep eating brains to get more and more special, so everyone will love me.

ME: You realize, of course, that I can't allow that to happen.

SYLAR: You can't stop me from becoming beautiful! I'll keep eating brains until I'm good and ready, to like, stop!

ME: Not if my friend takes a look under your hood.

SYLAR: I'm not gonna use my cleavage generation power for you looky-loos!

ME: No, that's not what I meant.

Well, maybe I didn't find out everything. But there will be time for more answers soon. I left him with The Haitian. Don't worry, there are no guns around.

Brain eater Busted Thank GOD!

Finally Somebody Caught That Hannibal Lector wannabe Thank You! I Still can't believe he ate Jackie's Brain That was sooooooooo Disgusting! of course he was about to eat mine and he would've if it werent for Peter Petrelli. I Think he's Kinda Cute I wouldnt mind getting to know him better if it werent for the cops to come and arrest him for Some B.S. Charge like Atempted Murder! pul-ease! He Saved My Life For crying out loud! If it werent for him The Cops would be Investigating another Brainless Murder!

After all that I Told my dad about my power then he tells me He Knew! *Ugh* He knew long before I did How was that possible? did i do something as a child to make him realize what i can do?

anywhoo, I was driving in my car getting away from my psycho Ex-Boyfriend Brody Mitchum who thinks he remembers what i did to him which is strange because the last time i saw him was in the hospital after he came out of his coma i appologized to him for what i did but he told me "Do I Know You?" *scratches her head* ooo k... whatever then. Anyway as i was driving i spotted this quiet little dinner called "Burnt toast" so i thought i'd stop by and see what the service is like and well, Here i am.

I got kicked out

I just got out of this weird place, this guy named Mr. Bennet and his assistant Eden tried to help me master my powers, I didn't think that it would work. I found Mr. Bennet weird and kind man, he kept saying "My Claire, my Claire bear!!!" I was like "Waaahh?" Then he goes "I wanted you to paint a picture of the guy that will eat my Claire bear" I still had no idea what he was talking about and said "Huuuhhhh?" Then I somehow saw a vision and painted this guy exploding. My stay at the paper company was weird, I felt like it was all a dream. They also cleaned all the heroin out of my system. I feel fresh.

I recently met Hiro Nakamura and his traveling buddy, Ando. With the help and inspiration of Hiro, I finally painted the future without drugs! I saw Hiro holding a samurai sword out at a T-rex, guy's gonna get owned. My vision wasn't long enough, I wanted to see Hiro get eaten by that T-rex! That would be totally awesome dawg!

The three of us head back to Burnt Toast Diner, I walk in and WAHBAM! I see this frog on the floor, I think of my vision of the exploding frog. Hiro says "Yuhu! Waffles!" and just steps on the frog. I was shocked and I almost yelled at Hiro saying, "You stepped on the frog dawg, that's not cool, the frog is like us man and you stepped on us." Then some guy comes along, picks up the frog, and chops its head off just by looking at it! I'm like "What the...?" That guy glances at me, then looks at the frog brain, he sees it crushed and tosses it into the trash can. He just threw us away! I yell at him, "What the !#$& is your problem?!? You just threw us away!!" The guy looks at me and I'm like "Oh shit," then he tosses me out the restaurant, crashing through the window. When he walks out the door I say to him, "That's not cool dawg!" He ignores me and flies off like Superman. I look at the sky and say, "That's so cool dawg!"

We order waffles and french fries, Hiro goes "Yuhu! Waffles!" and Ando says "Hiro!" They eatup all the food and I end up ordering a cheesburger without cheese.

Tongue Typin'

When did everything get so messed up? This might come as a surprise to you, but I’m writing from nice little cozy padded cell. To bad, I could really go for a cup of Jo and a chocolate chip muffin right now. Things went a little crazy these past few days. It’s all her fault really; I should have never let her turn us in.

So you thought this was Niki speaking for a moment there didn’t ya? Well, you were stupid to assume that, brighten up, you should have known I wasn’t going to let Niki have all the fun with this little blog thing of hers. Lucky for me, I negotiated my way into getting my laptop brought in. Typing with my tongue’s not so hard, especially since I share it with Niki, it’s the only muscle she has that’s stronger than mine.

How’d a nice gal like me end up in a dump like this you ask? We’ll that’s one hell of a story. If you’re reading this, you have the time to listen, so sit down, shut up, and stop gawking at this picture of me.

Yeah, I’m sexy. Don’t hate ladies, enough silicone and you could have this figure too. Oh yeah, Micah’s there too.

Anyway, the way it went down was like this, I’ll make it simple for those of you using less than 10% of your brain:

-D.L took my kid

-I shot D.L

-D.L ran with my kid

-I stalked D.L

-D.L passed out on my kid

-My kid found me

So everything was going fine from there, as you see. All I had to do was kill D.L, but of course, something that should have been simple was easily screwed up by the one and only Niki Sanders. Sure, shoving Micah was probably a mistake, it shocked Niki enough for her to push her way back out, and that was my downfall, but he can be such a weenie sometimes. Who wouldn’t want to push him?

Actually, I might have to reconsider keeping him around once I break out of this joint. He’s a pretty big threat, bigger than bears even! I’ll kill D.L, he thinks he’s so righteous with his precious virtues and feelings! Who needs such things?! Not I said the cat! We’ll see how far his virtues bring him when he’s popping up daisies. As for Micah… well, maybe the next time I happen to push him it’ll be into a pool. Weenies can’t swim, can they?

lol, so i'm like captured

so i was minding my own biz trying to eat some brainz wen this girl pops up out of nowhere! she was kinda cute and i wanted to ask her how she did her nails but wen i tried to show her mine she used some weird trick on me and i got all confused! then a big dude showed up and grabbed me from behind! he covered my mouth before i could yell "rape!" but it wuz too late and i passed out.

i woke a lil bit later and saw this big man in scary glasses. they were kind of dorky but i knew if he took them off he would be pretty hott! but he talked to me like a meanie and told me my super mind tricks wouldnt work and he wuz right! i new this man though. he was the cheerleaders dad! i guess he wuz kinda mad that i tried to eat his daughters brain lol. i do that sometimes....

but he wuz nice enough. he gave me this comp and left me alone. i totally went online and bought myself a pretty new dress! good thing i like have my card number engrained in my brain! then i went on myspace and found the real cheerleaders page. she hadnt updated i guess she wuz a lil shook up from almost losing her brian lol. anywayz, i sent her a friends request.

so a lil later this fat dude came with a package for me. it wuz my dress! yay! i tried it on but it wuz all riped up and stuff! i wunder wut happend? oh well. i new how to sew so i asked the man for a needle and thread and he went and got me sum. these people sure were nice for holding lil ol' me captive!

so i set to work on my pretty dress. my mom taugt me how to sew so i was pretty good. but while i was workin on my dress the girl from before came to visit me! i wuz excited becuz i new she was special like me and i still wanted her advice on my nails! but she wuznt being nice she wuz trying to kill me!

so i decided not to play nice either. if she wuznt gonna help me with my nails she wuldnt be living! so i killed her. well she killed herself lol. idk why i didnt really care about her specialness i wuz just hungry for brian.

just before i wuz gonna eat her brian though the scary sexy glasses man came and stopped me. come on i was like SO hungry! but instead i just got nuther nap becuz they hit me with some like darts or sumthing.

when i woke up i wuz still in the room but the scury man who tried to force himself on me wuz there! i sat up and still couldnt use my supper mind trick! but it was ok. i picked up my dress and finished sewing it. then i used my cleavage generation power (it was like the 2 power i got and still one of my favs) and tried my dress on! and omg, i was like soooo pretty! i looked like the bell of the ball! even the scary man smiled a lil! i was happy.

ok but now i'm dun with my dress all i have to do now is post on here and figure out a devious xcape plan. lol! i'll be out and eating brians agin soon enough! ttyl!

To Catch a Mocking Bird

You wouldn't believe all the trouble at work today. Let me give you some of the backstory...

There's this brain-eater on the loose. I've been tracking him for a long time now. It's been tough to catch him because he's always wearing some elaborate costume. I suppose he likes the anonymity they provide.

But this particular lunatic has been after my daughter. Luckily, he got her mistaken with a different cheerleader (I do that all the time!) and so Jackie was killed, and not my little Claire Bear.

I hate to say this, but it's the truth. It was Jackie's own fault. She had MySpace, and apparently this Sylar guy kept sending her messages. I managed to find these in the police file:

"hey, you look kinda familiar. do i know u? i swear, its like i know u from somewhere! anywayz, hit me back."

"i noticed u read my last message, but u never replies. i guess u were busy and then prolly just forgot. well, i thought ur page looked real cool, so like i just want to get to know u better. talk to u later!"

"dude, u keep ignoring me. y dont u reply to me? its not like im some strange psychopath or something. u can learn all about me on my profile. i know it says im 27, but im really just like 19. we should totally hang out. i know some good places to eat. anyway, i promise i wont kill u or anything, just pleeeease reply, k? later!"

There was a total of 23 messages.

So, this Sylar guy shows up, this time he dresses up as your typical, trench coat pedophile. He's in brain-eating mode.

It turned out Jackie's brain was sub-optimal, but she still croaked. Afterwards, my team managed to capture him. So we've got him locked up inside HQ. We put him in our Anti-Power Cell (beta).

That man is a few bytes short of a gig. We gave him a laptop with wireless internet so he could pass the time (it's also a way for us to study his behavior by tracking what he does on it). You know what the first thing he does is? Buys a dress off of eBay!

Rufus signed for the package and tried it on himself. Needless to say, it's practically ruined. But Sylar said he could sew it back together.

I've been zoned out over all this Sylar biz. And my Claire Bear is flippin' out. Between Rufus splitting Sylar's dress and a panicked, screaming cheerleader, there's just no bandwidth left to cop some Z's. I decided to leave Eden in charge and get myself a cup o' joe.

Hicks and Waffles

Greeting all,
Well, I'm back over here at the Burnt Toast Diner. It's not the first time I've been here though. The first time was a few days ago.

I had gone to work with Father. He's been taking me to work with him alot recently. I had to ride in the back seat when I'm with him. It's so unfair. Claire and Mommy let me ride in front. Anyway, he works at a paper company. Such a bore!

But he got busy and handed me to some lady. She was really nice! She even let me ride in the front seat when she took me to lunch. We came into the Burnt Toast Diner. She ordered some tasty food, but didn't let me have a bit. I guess it was okay though. She seemed upset. Probably something to do with that crack head I saw in Father's work. He's an awesome painter. Well, no Monet, but still good.

I saw a guy sitting in the corner in a coat. I didn't know why he would wear it, it was plenty warm indoors. I walked over to him because he looked loney. He gave me bacon!! God Bless the Freak!!! This waitress came and picked up his food though and gave him a coffee refill. Coffee, yeck! I decided to get back to the lady. But then I couldn't find her! She wasn't anywhere in the diner.

I almost panicked, but kept my cool. Years of training have taught me how to remain calm and composed in any situation. Surely she'd come back for me. I'm her boss's son afterall.

I tried to get some more food from a couple of nerdy-looking guys. They were talking funny and I didn't understand them. Plus they totally ignored me. The nerve!

I started exploring the rest of the diner. There were some interesting smells, that's for sure.

Then I heard a scream! Someone must have just left because the door was closing. They sure were quick. I didn't even noticed them. But I didn't want to stick around to see what the screaming was about. So I ran outside.

And there was that lady!

She was walking back to the diner. No doubt she realized she left me. She picked me up and kissed me on my head and scratched my ears, so I forgave her.

Today, I didn't get to come back with her though. Father brought me here instead. We were playing a game of chess back at his work, but he got frustrated because I kept beating him. We've been playing a lot these past few days, and I always win! I guess that's why he decided to buy me waffles!

Now I'm just waiting him to finish eating so we can leave. This place has good food, but the people are a bunch of hicks. One can only take so much of this low-class lifestyle before needing a good bath.

Hot and Bothered

How could I let this happen? How could I let him take my son?

Micah's gone, D.L took him from me after a fight got physical. He says I framed him, but I know I didn’t. If anyone did, it was her. Jessica. My sister. My dead sister. She pops in occasionally, says her cheap one liner, and then retreats back into the back of my mind. She’s just sitting back there, waiting to take over my body! I’m NOT CRAZY, she really is there! I swear on my panties she’s real!

So now I’m sitting in this new diner I came across after I drove all the way out here to Texas. I needed a good ride to clear my mind and think of a way to get Micah back. It’s all I can think about lately, well, that and what kind of muffin I should order. Personally, I’m a blueberry lover, but something in the back of my mind is craving chocolate chip. YOU WANT CHOCOLATE CHIP. Well, I guess I do want chocolate chip, all of a sudden the thought of Blueberry turns my stomach.

Back on the topic of what’s his name, I suppose I could let Jessica take over for a little bit. Just long enough to get him back. Then again, I’ve seen what Jessica can do… I’m not sure what she’d do when she found them. She might find D.L as attractive as I do. Jessica, even at age eleven, showed an interest in good lookin brothers, and D.L is pretty tight. Oh, my muffins here! Shibby! With his prison work out body and that tight little… Now I’m getting a little hot and bothered just thinking about him. Too bad things haven’t been working out. If it wasn’t for that mind possessing mass murderer D.L, Micah, and I would all be one smug little family. Then again, if that happened I wouldn’t be here with this delicious chocolate chip muffin. Wait, didn’t I order blueberry? Hmm, I guess chocolate chip is ok. Blueberry next time though!

would u like some brains with ur coffee??

look its me! so i found this lil diner out here in texas and its pretty nice! i had one of the waitresses take my pic. guess the lighting wuznt very good lol. anywayz, this place has good coffee and i found this lil comp with this lil blog to post my thoughts and leave my mark on this place. well i'm sure i'll be leaving my mark one way or another, the other way prolly being through murder and brain eating lol!

so im on my way to odessa texas to find some cheerleader. she is special like me so im going to eat her brain to become even MORE special!!! her name is like jackie or sumthing. ive been trying to talk to her on myspace but she wont reply to me. i guess shes a lil stuck up, she IS a cocaptain of the cheerleaders. i always wanted to be a cheerleader in hs but they always just laughed at me so munching on jackies brain will be extra sweet!!!

but before i go there i have some biz to take care of here! im sitting here drinking my coffee staking out this waitress charlie. she was on chandy's list she has some sort of specialness in her! i gotta wait til shes alone cuz i dont want all theze peeps to know who i am.

shes been flirting with some nerdy azn guy and his friend. shes way out of his league, shes so pretty i dont know why shes wasting her time on him! she must see sumthin in him that i dont. actually now that i think of it, he is pretty cute. omg am i jealous of her?? aaaaarch! oh well just one more reason to eat her brian lol.

will she ever be alone?? i'm getting like real hungry. im really starting to like these brians. at first i thought they were kind of icky but now theyre growing on me! just like in hs when i couldnt stand beer at first but then going to all sorts of kickin parties i started to like them! ive started eating even regular brains just cuz they taste so good

h/o she just went in the back brb!


ok im back but not for long! i just followed her to the back and used my super mind trick to chop off the top of her head. oh the reaction on her face was priceless i almost roflmao. then i ate her brian real quick but now i gotta get out of here before they realize what ive done! i mean i have like little pieces of brain on my face. im outta here ttyl!

Burnt Toast Diner

This is the best place to score some java in all of Texas! I come here regularly. A few months ago I was interfacing with one of the waitresses and said how boss it would be if they set up a blog. "Everyone's on the net these days," I said.

Well, she must have remembered because today while doing some waffles I noticed a 'puter sitting by the wall. But it wasn't just any 'puter. No, sir. It was an authentic Commodore 64!

Unfortunately, they didn't realize it was too old to be of any real use. They were disappointed when I told them, so I promised I'd supe it up and have it blog-compatible within the hour.

Maybe I overestimated my CPU. It took me two and a half hours.

After reinterfacing the IDE chipset with an ethernet-ready MMAS400 board, it looked like I was only a few nano-tweaks away from beta.

A capacitor here. A transistor there. A few microcontrollers, to taste. And violla! Google.com!

The staff was impressed. I was surprised their non-1337 brains could even process what they had just witnessed.

I gave a quick explanation and set up an account on Blogger. They suggested I post the first post, and now you're reading it!

Crap! My coffee got cold. Oh, well. I need to get back to the office anyway. I left Rufus in charge. Last time that happened, we had to give him a blood transfusion from all the paper cuts.

I wonder what crazy things will be posted here?