LOST: Two Very Mentally Unstable Children
I'm writing this post from the internal wireless connecetion of my jet black, secretly government funded helicopter. I haven't the slightest idea where I left my boys. I mean, I knew Peter would be out of commission for awhile due to the massive act of destruction that he was about to commit, but after that little brat's suicide attempt during the middle of a very important conversation, my dutiful older son disappeared too. I swear, being the matriarch of a powerful family is extremely difficult. Especially when no one will DO WHAT YOU TELL THEM! The canine is the only one with the slightest bit of sense and I am tired of people NOT LISTENING! Don't they know that being right all the time is trying for me? Don't they know looking this fabulous while plotting the demise of one of the world's greatest cities is almost impossible?!?! After all of that nuclear talk is almost impossible to not look frazzled...
Anyway, since New York is apparently still a cesspool of homeless people, criminals and tacky dressers I'm going to assume that the plan didn't go as well as initially hoped. I have no idea where Nathan and Peter are, but apparently Heidi can walk again, which I'm assuming means that Linderman finally had to use that trump card. He never made it to the supersecret black helicopter either. Things are looking good for his survival. It was a bad idea to involve that geeky child, Micah Sanders. I told him he should never get between a mother and her child, especially when the mother is a psychologically unstable, cute perky homicidal female looking version of the Incredible Hulk. You never get between a mother and her child. It's the most dangerous place in the universe. That's a warning to everyone who might have hurt my boys, stupid as they may be, they're mine and I'm coming after anyone who put a scratch on them...
...as soon as I find them. And examine their scratches. After I get a more tasteful vehicle. And change clothes. And maybe go shopping for almost-apocalpyse wardrobe...khaki, perhaps? With pearls...and new shoes.
7 patrons:
You know, I just realized I too lost someone. My Wireless girl never checked back in after her mission. Odd....
Your son better not be up in space impregnating her, but if he is, can I keep the baby?
You already have one evolutionarily advanced child that you obviously cannot care for or train to respect her elders. If there is another child, I will be raising it from the get-go. I and my dear departed Haitian.
Yes, I can walk, but I doubt the child you describe as 'geeky-looking' actually as you say.
He sounds quite intelligent. If I can ever find my HUSBAND and his brother. I will find a way to get that boy into Dalton with my sons!
Why don't you get some clothes
at a thrift shop, you good at thrift.(especially emotionally)
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I'm sorry to hear about your missing sons. I'm sure they are fine...or dead maybe...That happens sometimes. I think it happened to me? I don't know. I can't remember.
Interesting blog I would say more but I am tied up at the moment.
Matt Parkman Fan
Heidi, darling,
The reason I never ask you opinion is because I don't actually care what you think. Keep that in mind.
And I never said the child was geeky looking. I said he was geeky. There is a difference, not that someone like you would know that. Thrift store....pffft. I picked you because I thought you had enough intelligence to stay quiet. Obviously I should have picked another woman with a stronger filter between her brain and her mouth.
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