I was tyrign to sotp by the brunt taost dnier eralier, btu I cuoldnt. They got me at tihs Preimatcech Pppaer palce and they wont let me go. I had to brieb the secruity gaurd wtih 5 bucks so he wuold take me to the dnier. I had to get me some wffales. MMMM….wflafes. I have had wffales at a lot of palces and let me jsut say taht the Brunt Taost Dniner is aobut #5…the Ihop in the Valely is #1, sorry Jancie. Aynway, IM MAD, LIEK SPUER MAD. I got the cpas lcoks on threr so you know I am staeming. I have hepled them with Bnnett so why I am sitll here?? Preimatche Ppper smells funny, like burrnt eggs, its not peaslant. So as I sit here in a wite shirt and pants eatign thses wffales I have a Priamatch secruity gaurd named Berty wiatin to tkae me back to the eggy paper palce. Berty kind of crreps me out, he keeps thikning tihgns like “I wonder waht the Nijna Truttles look liek wihtout thier shells” and hes thikns scurry tthings abuot some trcuk drvier named Ulgie. Anyweay, am just hoeping my wife doenst decide to chaet on me agian, I am wrroied cuase I thikn Rooto Roter is comign oever for the pipes and Janeice soemtimes gets too freindly. And Ted, cuold that man be any more of a spaz, I can hear him thikning thruogh teh walls, ME CAVEMAN!! Thses wfalles…MMMMM….I got to ask waht they put in them, it tatstes liek a drop of vaienilla is in threr, good stuff, GOOD STUFF. Cap locks, YEA! Well, I bettr fishnish these last few moresls up cuase Berty sems a bit mad. I am scurred to get back in that van, but I am Matt Paerkmen, fearless formar trffic cop! I mean TRAFFIC COP! Til nxt tiem Brunt Taost Diner, Matty P is outta here!!
I LVOE WFFALES!!!